Currently 70% done with my revision of tomorrow's test. 10% on reversible reactions, and 20% of practice questions. Going to start in five minutes. Shouldn't take too long.

Felt really sad about my class today. It's in turmoil.

Discipline problems(if there was any discipline at all), attitude against teachers, lousy cleaniness. Zero situational literacy, and only a minimal level of responsibility. When the teachers zero in on the noisy ones, they start criticising the monitor, blah blah, trying to push the blame to the monitor who was supposedly "biased" against them. I mean if you really were that obedient, nobody would have been able to pinpoint you right? Who cares if other people joined in? What he's talking about is you. Did you do it? Anyway, it really is the worst period our class has gone through. It is starting to dawn upon me that there's no such thing as self-discipline in our class. We always need some form of "punishment" or consequence behind anything for people NOT to do it.

Nobody does anything just because "its right".
Its always because "if you don't... something will happen to you".

Why can't people behave appropriately when the situation calls for it?

God teach me to be patient!

Now Listening to: Can't stop now
By: Keane

Feeling nervous whenever I think of leading sunday school worship. Which is all the time.

Lord give me strength, and courage to comeplete what I have set out to do.

Stress from school, stress from church, stress from judo. Its driving me nuts.

Lord give me strength!!!

Now Listening to: Talk
By: Coldplay

Feeling frustrated right now. I wish everyday were spent with my church friends.

I guess as you grow up you gradually realise that its such a wonderful thing being able to worship and grow together.

Somehow or rather I don't feel that sense of closeness to my school mates like when I'm with my church friends, even though I spend 5/7 of my week with them. I find that my peers are too preoccupied with having fun, and its hard to strike up a serious conversation because you've been talking only cock with them for 3 1/2 years. In a culture where people are constantly joking around, its hard to show your true self, the sad, angry, disappointed, reflective self. I feel like I'm constantly wearing a mask to fit in to the accepted "behaviour" of an average-sec4-student-from-4K guy.

That's why I long to be with my church friends. Where I can be my real self. Or at least where its easier to.

I hate being in school, although I love my school.

I daydream of a time when there's no study, no work. A time when we just spend the rest of our time glorifying the Lord's name, worshipping and learning about him. And we wouldn't have to care about the bare necessities, like food and money and studies. Just focusing on Him. Everyday would be Sunday and we would all gather in praise and worship.

Kinda sounds like heaven, come to think of it.

But its time to get back to earth.

And study physics.

Now Listening to: Let it Rain
By: Keri Noble