Post-rally

Its really hard to put in words what I've been going through for the past week.

I feel I've been closer to God than ever before. I found my passion for Him; That I had struggled to find when I just entered youth.

What is my definition of passion?

Passion is when you do something wholeheartedly and feel that it is what you live for.

Passion is when you are oblivious to the opinions of people around you and of what you are doing.

Looking back at the past week I saw passion in the eyes of the renewal youths. the camp, the fellowship, the rehersals, the dedication, the rally.

The feeling is so great that you can only experience it; You can never express it well enough through words.

Now Listening Silently to: We were the reason
Sung By: Renewal Youths

The previous post was really long, but I felt I just HAD to post it.

It feels good to be worshipping god. After listening to christian songs in the church for 5+ hours, you cannot help but feel that it's something you never get tired of. Even if the songs are still ringing in your head and you want to sleep but you can't since you keep 'hearing' the songs.

Anyway.

Spent the five hours in church doing handicraft with the teens for the youth rally. Although handicraft and origami are not a man's job, we still managed to do a rather good job. Heh. Worked like slaves. But still God's "slaves".

Anyone whom I have been hanging out with would know that I'm learning to play the bass guitar in church to serve. It's really great, I'm excited, don't get me wrong. But lessons have been going at a snail's pace; I'm starting to wonder if I'll ever be good enough to serve in Feb. I don't think it's good enough to just practice on the EADG strings on a folk guitar, I need experience.

On the other hand, when I'm progressing with my guitar playing pretty quickly, starting on barre chords after 2 months to me is really good. I feel that I also want to serve with the guitar. That's where the problem lies. The bassists look to me and junwei to play the bass in the future. My cell mates look to us to play the bass too. But I'm just not learning fast enough. The pressure is creeping in. I'm finding that playing the guitar is more feasible. Yet I still want to play the bass.

Rambling in Dillemia. Time to pray.

Over.

Now Listening to: Train
By: Ordinary

Punchinello

Couldn't sleep. I kept thinking about what enhan said during the second night. Felt I had the duty to share this story with other people, if not I would let myself and God down. Read it carefully and you may find the real meaning behind.

The story of Punchinello

The Wemmicks were small wooden people. Each of the wooden people was carved by a woodworker named Eli. His workshop sat on a hill overlooking their village. Every Wemmick was different. Some had big noses, others had large eyes. Some were tall and others were short. Some wore hats, others wore coats. But all were made by the same carver and all lived in the village.
And all day, every day, the Wemmicks did the same thing: They gave each other stickers. Each Wemmick had a box of golden star stickers and a box of gray dot stickers. Up and down the streets all over the city, people could be seen sticking stars or dots on one another.
The pretty ones, those with smooth wood and fine paint, always got stars. But if the wood was rough or the paint chipped, the Wemmicks gave dots. The talented ones got stars, too. Some could lift big sticks high above their heads or jump over tall boxes. Still others knew big words or could sing very pretty songs. Everyone gave them stars.
Some Wemmicks had stars all over them! Every time they got a star it made them feel so good that they did something else and got another star. Others, though, could do little. They got dots.
Punchinello was one of these. He tried to jump high like the others, but he always fell. And when he fell, the others would gather around and give him dots. Sometimes when he fell, it would scar his wood, so the people would give him more dots. He would try to explain why he fell and say something silly, and the Wemmicks would give him more dots.
After a while he had so many dots that he didn't want to go outside. He was afraid he would do something dumb such as forget his hat or step in the water, and then people would give him another dot. In fact, he had so many gray dots that some people would come up and give him one without reason.
"He deserves lots of dots," the wooden people would agree with one another.
"He's not a good wooden person."
After a while Punchinello believed them. "I'm not a good wemmick," he would say. The few times he went outside, he hung around other Wemmicks who had a lot of dots. He felt better around them.
One day he met a Wemmick who was unlike any he'd ever met. She had no dots or stars. She was just wooden. Her name was Lulia.
It wasn't that people didn't try to give her stickers; it's just that the stickers didn't stick. Some admired Lulia for having no dots, so they would run up and give her a star. But it would fall off. Some would look down on her for having no stars, so they would give her a dot. But it wouldn't stay either.
"That's the way I want to be," thought Punchinello. "I don't want anyone's marks." So he asked the stickerless Wemmick how she did it.
"It's easy," Lulia replied. "every day I go see Eli."
"Eli?"
"Yes, Eli. The woodcarver. I sit in the workshop with him."
"Why?"
"Why don't you find out for yourself? Go up the hill. He's there. "
And with that the Wemmick with no marks turned and skipped away.
"But he won't want to see me!" Punchinello cried out.
Lulia didn't hear. So Punchinello went home. He sat near a window and watched the wooden people as they scurried around giving each other stars and dots.
"It's not right," he muttered to himself. And he resolved to go see Eli.
He walked up the narrow path to the top of the hill and stepped into the big shop. His wooden eyes widened at the size of everything. The stool was as tall as he was. He had to stretch on his tiptoes to see the top of the workbench. A hammer was as long as his arm. Punchinello swallowed hard.
"I'm not staying here!" and he turned to leave. Then he heard his name.
"Punchinello?" The voice was deep and strong.
Punchinello stopped.
"Punchinello! How good to see you. Come and let me have a look at you."
Punchinello turned slowly and looked at the large bearded craftsman.
"You know my name?" the little Wemmick asked.
"Of course I do. I made you."
Eli stooped down and picked him up and set him on the bench. "Hmm, " he spoke thoughtfully as he inspected the gray circles. "Looks like you've been given some bad marks."
"I didn't mean to, Eli. I really tried hard."
"Oh, you don't have to defend yourself to me. I don't care what the other Wemmicks think."
"You don't?"
"No, and you shouldn't either. Who are they to give stars or dots? They're Wemmicks just like you. What they think doesn't matter, Punchinello. All that matters is what I think. And I think you are pretty special."
Punchinello laughed. "Me, special? Why? I can't walk fast. I can't jump. My paint is peeling. Why do I matter to you?"
Eli looked at Punchinello, put his hands on those small wooden shoulders, and spoke very slowly. "Because you're mine. That's why you matter to me."
Punchinello had never had anyone look at him like this--much less his maker. He didn't know what to say.
"Every day I've been hoping you'd come," Eli explained.
"I came because I met someone who had no marks."
"I know. She told me about you."
"Why don't the stickers stay on her?"
"Because she has decided that what I think is more important than what they think. The stickers only stick if you let them."
"What?"
"The stickers only stick if they matter to you. The more you trust my love, the less you care about the stickers."
"I'm not sure I understand."
"You will, but it will take time. You've got a lot of marks. For now, just come to see me every day and let me remind you how much I care."
Eli lifted Punchinello off the bench and set him on the ground.
"Remember," Eli said as the Wemmick walked out the door. "You are special because I made you. And I don't make mistakes."
Punchinello didn't stop, but in his heart he thought, "I think he really means it."
And when he did, a dot fell to the ground.


Who are we all living for? What are we living for?

Jast came back from church camp. Best camp I've ever attended, because I had a great time with my fellow brothers and sisters in christ. I don't know where to start, since I hate to write a 12413 word "compo" detailing every single detail of the camp. I think I'll just have to write write write.

But I'm damn tired now. Even after 6 hours of afternoon sleep.

Bye.

Felt horrible during training today, half-sick, half-fatigued. Still managed to pull through. Competition's postponed to 20th of december, wondering if I should join the competition. Wondering if it's too late to do so. Seem to be running out of ideas in my offence, nothing to do besides leg sweep and ippon. I wanna try others, but always forget to when I step into the dojo. I'll keep that in mind. The guys around me seem to be improving, like lrac, while I feel I am stagnant, no matter how hard I try.

I wonder how our guys did against the A boys on the battlefield.

Went with the guys in my cell to jam near aljunied in the noon, was quite a fun activity. Initially I wanted to play the guitar but with my set of limited skills I couldn't play many of them, mostly due to barre chords. So I just played the bass. Major scales mostly. It was the best during the last ten minutes, playing "xian jing bu zai shi wo huo zhe" a few times with the drums and piano. No guitar. lol.

Going to play max payne 2 later. Bored.

Now Listening to: Stairway to heaven live
By: Foo Fighters

Currently in semi-conscious state. One full day of shanghai shopping, another day of watching 5 consecutive movies, with 2 hours of sleep between the days. The joys of midnight flight.

Now Listening to: Nothing

Stairway to heaven rocks.

Now Listening to: Stairway to heaven
By: Led Zepplin

Learnt to play Good Riddance on guitar today. The song's done by Green Day. The green day that were actually good then. Nice song with meaningful lyrics.

Another turning point
A fork stuck in the road
Time grabs you by the wrist
Directs you where to go
So make the best of this test
And don't ask why
It's not a question
But a lesson learned in time

It's something unpredictable
But in the end is right
I hope you had the time of your life

So take the photographs
And still frames in your mind
Hang it on a shelf of
Good health and good time
Tattoos of memories
And dead skin on trial
For what it's worth
It was worth all the while

It's something unpredictable
But in the end is right
I hope you had the time of your life

"In almost all musical forms, the bass has two important functions to fulfill.

First, the bass defines the chords being played and guides the movement of the music from one chord to another. This role is usually shared with a guitar or a piano.

Second, the bass provides the rhythm of the music being played. This role is usually shared with the drums. Because it links the two functions of rhythm and harmony, the bass is often the instrument around which the rest of the music is organized. "

Time and time again I look for signs that tell me that Singaporeans are not that superficial, that are not that shallow. However time and time again I get the opposite. Of course I am writing about Sg Idol. I try not to whine too much about the results but this is just something I have to get out somewhere.

Look at Fantasia sing. Look at Ruben sing. Look at Clay Aiken sing. Look at Destiny Tobing sing.

And then look at Sylvester sing.

I feel that he has been riding on his boyish charms, good looks, that silly smile to advance into the finals. Yeah he can sing rock. But then again look at Bon Jovi. Look at Gn'R. Can he compare to them? I have my doubts. Olinda can sing better than him, hit higher notes than him, longer vibrato and is versetile. She can sing Jazz, Rock and roll, Pop, and musicals very well. Sylvester on the other hand either flunked or barely pulled through. So I cannot understand why she went out and he stayed on.

Remember when David Yeo was kicked out by Christopher? Exactly. Who can say without doubt that Christopher sang better than David? Again the packaging came before the substance.

Go, Taufik, Go.

Now Listening to: Mr Jack
By: System of a Down

I long to spend a night where I can just lie down

listen to some nice music and

just look at the sky.


Alone. Peacefully.


I somehow felt that feeling yesterday, at the playground near my house.

Really nice.

Now Listening to: Shiver
By: Coldplay

Had my first bass lesson in church on saturday, not too bad. Starting on music theory, stuff like major/minor scale, and some other practical things like how to play, how to position the fingers etc. Really looking forward to the next lesson, even though we already have homework, that is to draw out the 6 major and minor scales that we are learning, which is aLoT.

Anyway, I find that since the holidays started I have more time to do some stuff that I don't usually have time for. My dad just bought a brand new acoustic guitar so for these few days I just played around it whenever I have time. Learning to play chords, that's all. Spent the morning learning to play hotel california by eagles. I didn't feel tired at all... lol

Now Listening to: Hotel California
By: Eagles

Yay I can bench 70kg six times.

Anyway.

Totally shagged out by today's training. For the first time in 3 years I felt the effects of not sleeping well the night before during today's physical training. Just kena pwned by the juniors. Sorry.

Actually I wanted to write a commentry on y2k's supposed affair with velden's sister, seeing how it has affected "interpersonal relationships and conversational topics" within our sec 3 judo batch (I'm laughing as I write that). But I'm too tired to do that. I'll leave that till tomorrow.


Now Listening to: Bombshell
By: Powerman 5000

I have this feeling for the whole week that before the holiday started, I had too many things to do, too little time. I longed to sit in front of the computer the whole day and just rot away, or chill out with my teammates.

And when I finally get to do that, somehow it loses its appeal. When I finally get to spend my holiday, doing the things I always wanted seems to become boring. Yeah I know playing video games is fun, but surely there is something more to my two months than that... Suddenly my first bass lesson in church, my first music lesson in 2 years seems so distant, so long away.

Probably will catch some movies (if there are any good ones). I'm decomposing at home.


Now Listening to: Rollover DJ
By: Jet

Its now 10:53pm, and I think my dad's feeling better. We watched Johnny English with my sis. Although the story was crap but I think if you just watch for the dumb and stupid things then quite okay. Dad feeling weird during the movie, laughing damn hard even though his stomach there was pain. Hopefully tomorrow will be okay.

Now Listening to: Wind Cries Mary
By: Jimi Hendrix

Just saw my father vomit into our kitchen sink, with my family standing behind him. Quite worried, heard something about his gall bladder having problems... His health has been going up and down, on and off for the past few months. Hope nothing bad comes out of this latest problem...

Now Listening to: Cai3 Hong2
By: Wu yue tian (Mayday)

The test you've just taken is a short version of the Five Factor model of identity. Among psychology experts, this approach has become broadly accepted for its accuracy and consistency. The five dimensions in this model give a complete description of your personality traits: Openness to Experience, Conscientiousness, Extraversion, Agreeableness and Negative Emotionality. Read below to see your scores and understand what they mean.

---

less curious	more curious

Openness To Experience

Your medium score in the Openness category means that you are moderately interested in the creative arts. You probably show some real imagination at certain times, or display a strong curiosity towards the new. But these moments are balanced by a more practical focus on the pragmatic concerns and realities of everyday life. Rather than letting your mind wander too far, you prefer to remain relatively focused. These aspects of your personality reflect a character somewhere between a conservative and a dreamer.

---

less focused	more focused

Conscientiousness

Your high score in the Conscientiousness category means that you feel a strong compulsion towards duty and responsibility. You are probably a very organized person, and pride yourself on your professional competence. Work is a very high priority in your life, and defines your vision of success. You have a careful attitude towards making decisions, and think them through carefully. With such a strong conscience, and a devotion to accomplishment, it's likely that you're considered extremely dependable.

---

less extraverted	more extraverted

Extraversion

Your medium score in the Extraversion category defines your social identity. You are probably comfortable in either a crowd or by yourself, and spending time alone or with company is equally enjoyable. When among others, you tend to stand in the foreground, although you may not always wish to take the position of a leader. Instead, you seem to prefer moving between the role of leader and follower, as the situation requires. You probably keep a moderately active social life; you're generally on the lookout for excitement, but certainly don't require it. You tend to keep a fairly positive emotional outlook, and people can usually count on your for some good cheer.

---

less adaptive	more adaptive

Agreeableness

The Agreeableness category refers to your social disposition. Your high score indicates your tendency to forego your own desires for the sake of others - sometimes to a fault. You are probably known as a kind and modest person who is willing to overlook your own needs for the interest of the group. You believe in creating harmony among people, to the point where you can sometimes act a bit dependent. With your straightforward style of communication and your sentimental nature, this isn't hard for you. You tend to see the world by the light you cast - as honest and genuine.

---

less reactive	more reactive

Negative Emotionality

Negative Emotionality refers to your emotional reactivity. Your medium score means that you're someone who negotiates your emotions depending on your situation. Sometimes you may feel quite sensitive and emotional, while other times you may remain resilient to outside pressures. This quality of adaptation best describes your emotional character. You maintain a rational outlook, which is moderated by feelings. For example, you can sometimes feel sad, stressed, worried or embarrassed under the weight of a situation, but you are able to act quite calm and reserved, without yielding to the stress. Responsive, without being overly reactive, is the best way to describe you.

---

Now Listening to: Wind Cries Mary
By: Jamie Cullum

Totally emptied. My tank is now empty. No more energy left. The activities for the past three days have been energy sapping to say the least. I had PT on tuesday. It was raining a little so we did our PT in the clock tower. Sir changed the normal jogging routine into 6 minutes of jumping jets, meaning we did about 180. "One two three, ONE". This exercise it self tired out my calves, quads and hamstrings all at the same time. Stayed back to talk about old arcade games and reliving fond memories. Rock.

Wednesday. Ortus Carnival. Helped out in 3L's haunted house. In there it was hot, stuffy, everyone was sweating like mad. Gaobin was messing things up. But still I had so much fun that I didn't have much energy left after that to do other stuff. I wore a damn scary mask, stood in front of them with my arms outstretched. So, those students thinking that I would scare them, would focus totally on me. Then wenjib would move in for the kill by scaring them right when they are totally focused on me. Pwned.

Today. We went trekking from Bukit timah hill to Mandai Zoo in a rain on the forest trail. Totally Pwned. We were wet, muddy, sore, tired, hungry and happy all at the same time when the zoo kfc was in sight. To add to injury, we had weights training in the afternoon. So at that time, the three leg muscles were wrecked, my shoulders, chest and triceps were also getting worked. Had a really stupid time after the actual training though, through some air-con, a digicam and some weights room equiptment.

I am beginning to cherish the time I spend with my teammates more and more. I can feel that during the exams it brought us apart and now we are getting back together as a team we should be. Laughing, sweating and laming together. Luckily(and unfortunately) we are stuck together in Judo for the next three years, so there's still time for us to get together alot.

Not funny.

Now Listening to: Last Chance
By: Jet

Picked up a Chinese book on Saturday, quite interesting. Its about living your shitty life with laughter，and is aptly named 《哈哈笑，过苦日子》。 Thick and Cheap. $9.90.

A rather fresh breath of air for me since I don't usually pick up chinese books by myself and start reading them. Besides that, this type of motivational books aren't what I normally read. It offers many short stories and jokes to bring out some quirks and wrong things we are doing in our lives. Like how we always say "but I thought" even when it means "I was too lazy to check", or how we tend to focus on minor itty gritty details instead of looking at the real issue. There are about 5 chapters, each with 15-20 short stories.

Maybe it's just what I need to idle off my holidays as well as help myself take things easily.

Maybe it can help me live a better live, a more fufilling life.

Just maybe.


Now listening to: Shiver
By: Maroon 5

The weather change I've been experiencing nowadays seem to be so sudden; It can be all sunny and cheerful at one moment and then before you know it the dark clouds begin to gather and in no time it starts to rain. With thunder.

Just a matter of a few hours but it is enough for the whole situation to change, for good or for worse, I don't know. It wasn't like this a few months ago, and sometimes I wonder how it has worsened over such a short time. But I guess things are the way they are, the more you try to interfere, the worse it becomes.

All I'm gonna do now is watch the rain fall and the thunders roll until they decide to stop. Until they let sunshine fill the room.

Just like before.

Now Listening to: Thunder

Nothing's going right for me right now. I've just spent 20 minutes writing and composing my thoughts on blogger when it failed to post it and wiped out my entire post. My sister's playing the Sims 2 on my computer. Glad that she's finally getting a life. I was a little worried when she started to actually MuG in June. Its been 3.5 months since she last touched a computer or chatted on msn.

Anyway. its raining cats and dogs now. And I'm supposed to go for the first outdoor training since the exams later at four. Can this be considered an omen? Is this a sign of things to come?

Actually I wrote some stuff about my Judo. But there's no time to retype them now. So I'll just go away.

Now Listening to: Pouring Rain

A story taken from SgChirstians friendster.

A young lady named Sally, relates an experience she had in a seminary class, given by her teacher, Dr. Smith. She says that Dr. Smithwas known for his elaborate object lessons.

One particular day, Sally walked into the seminary and knew they were in for a fun day.

On the wall was a big target and on a nearbytable were many darts. Dr. Smithtold the students to draw a picture of someone that they disliked or someone who had made them angry, and he would allow them to throw darts at the person's picture.

Sally's friend drew a picture of who had stolen her boyfriend. Another friend drew a picture of his little brother. Sally drew a picture of a former friend, putting a great deal of detail into her drawing, even drawing pimples on the face. Sally ! was plea sed with the overall effect she had achieved.

The class lined up and began throwing darts.Some of the students threw their darts with such force that their targets were ripping apart. Sally looked forward to her turn, and was filled with disappointment when Dr. Smith, because of time limits, asked the students to return to their seats. As Sally sat thinking about how angry she was because she didn't have a chance to throw any darts at her target. Dr. Smithbegan removing the target from the wall.

Underneath the target was a picture of Jesus. A hush fell over the room as each student viewed the mangled picture of Jesus; holes and jagged marks covered His face and His eyes were pierced.

Dr. Smith said only these words... "In as much as ye have done it unto the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto Me." Matthew 25:40. No other words were necessary; the tears filled eyes of the students focused only on the picture of Christ.

Now Listening to: Silence

Who are my true friends? Who will help me at their expense when I'm down? Who will I help at my own expense when they are depressed?

There was a man. He was a paralytic, meaning that he couldn't move. Not even a little bit. In his society, people who grew up to be different, who had weird diseases were considered sinners. These group of people were right smack at the bottom of the social heirachy.

For this guy, all he could do was think about his next meal. 'Whats the point of thinking about anything else?' he thought. Now unlike the other 'outcasts', he had 4 true friends. They took care of him day in day out, helping him wash up, stuff like that. The parlytic always felt that he was being a burden to the guys, and was grateful for their friendship.

One day, the five of them heard that Jesus was in town, teaching the word in someone's house. So the four guys said, "lets bring him(the paralytic) to Jesus, he might be able to heal our friend"
Upon reaching the house, they found out that it was full people. There was no way in. But they persisted. These very four men dug a hole through the roof and lowered the paralytic down, with countless pairs of eyes all looking at them. Jesus look at the paralytic, then at the determination and faith of his friends, and said:"Son, your sins are forgiven. Get up, take your mat and go home". And that was what the paralytic did. He stood up, thanked the lord, and walked home.

True friends are those that think not of themselves but of the group.
They stay with their friends through thick and thin.
They are not afraid of defying the social norm.
True friends are those who look beyond the package, and look at the substance.

A rather long post, I know. But just wondering, who are my true friends, who aren't?


Now Listening to: Liu2 Shui3 Nian2 Hua2 (current bg music)
By: Harlem Yu

Open house at TCHS today was really good. Good in the sense that:
a) I spent two hours catching up with my judo friends
b) All I did was fight one bout of shi-ai with my junior
c) The visitors were impressed(i think...)

So actually open house for me is just sitting there, watching. Not much difference from the visitors if you come to think of it. Vernon and Yong Keong did their jobs very well, considering that they received their jobs only 30 minutes before the actual performance. GJ guys.

Anyway, during the youth service worship, shumin was the worship leader. Obviously something was not right because she kept on forgetting what to sing(chorus, verse 1, 2) and caused alot of confusion during the worship, in the end it was really awkward. It's a vicous cycle really, the more nervous you are, the more mistakes you get. And that causes you to get even more nervous. Haiz. Despite that, we could all see that she tried her best in serving the lord and didn't really criticize or what lar.

Percussion freak rocks. It allows me to play with a "drum" really horribly and not look too stupid. Just a little lol.

Getting updated with Taiwan news and politics recently. Full of colourful and vibrant politicians. And their news sound like some soap opera. Prez got shot on eve of election day. Won by margin. US forcing them to buy weaps. Politicians scolding other countries with words like "mucus" and LP, and more. Truly amazing. I wish Singapore were like that...





Maybe not.

Now Listening to: Nothing

Yay... finally getting a new graphics card for my birthday. Getting one that is around the 600++ buck range. Wait... don't fall of your chair yet, the reason why its so expensive is cos my dad, mom and grandma are pooling their money to get it. Amazing huh.

Here are three contenders:

ELSA Ati Radeon 9800XT ($655)
POWER COLOR ATI Radeon 9800XT ($699)
Geforce 5900 Ultra ($650)

I'd really want the 9800XT cos its much smaller than the Geforce and doesn't require 2 empty CPU slots. And btw all these cards require their own power plug. Yeah. The graphic card's very own power plug. Hopefully can get it during november, since now's the research phase of the purchase process. Hoping to find more and better cards tomorrow. Maybe check out Geforce 5950 Ultra, heard its a little bit more expensive than 9800XT. One way or another, I'll still be going into nirvana in November. Doom3, Far Cry, Halo 2, Half-life 2, here I come!!!!!!!one!!1!11

Now Listening to: System of a down
By: Roulette

Found this blog by accident.

"""It was my misfortune of browsing through some blogs. The American blogs were fine. The Indian blogs were fine. The Kuwaiti blogs were fine. The Malaysian blogs were fine too.What made my blood boil was the SINGAPOREAN blogs. OH MY GOD. Here's a cruel sampling:

ahax...happi a bit 2dae cause MT exam over le :p...e paper okie lahx...sum difficult...HE stressin me lehx...fin so fast...both e compo n paper...hahax...jus now after sch saw those BITCHES @ e bus-stop...cant stand them...sum okie lahx sum really irritatin lorx...TW ish 1 of them...c boyz onli scream lyke end of e world lyke tat...a bus came but den alot of ppl so we skip unfortunately, THEY aso skip e bus...!@#$%^&*....haiz...den they lyke tokin bout us lorx...its damn obvious...also those malay ppl frm NT came n keep beatin e metal thin...we leanin on it lorx...pa jiao lahx...wan 2 scream @ them n throw them into e rubbish bin since they so close 2 it...heheh...den HE n his buddies came...den got 293 so BITCHES went over n HE too...sigh...den ganma n bla bla bla came...mummy ish supposed 2 cum with them 1...but got tuition...haiz...poor thin...aniwaes back 2 e topic...after they left i was damn irritated liao...den blablabla came which make me wan 2 kill ppl liao...hahax...

What the hell was THAT?!?!? I read through it half-way and fell into a coma. Is this what our country is producing? If a world-class education system yields this, i'm moving to Cambodia. How long does it take to spell "to"? Do you have to use 2?!??! OH my god..And another thing: the blogs are so...empty. Here's what they have in common:

1) Singapore Idol
2) How hard the science paper was
3) What somebody did to somebody

That's all they talk about. Other blogs are different. I've seen blogs from other countries with subject matter ranging from the election, to the Mount St Helens eruption. But the Singaporean bloggers probably don't even know their Yusof Islams from their Osama bin Ladens.

*breeeeethe.......breeeeeeeeathe......* """


-------------------------------------------------

I couldnt agree more with him. There is something seriously wrong with the way singaporeans write and express themselves in writing. Is singapore the only country that uses MsN alot to the extent that the quality of writing decreases? No. Other countries don't have such problems, why singapore?

y is dis wae of riting onli cuming frm sgreans??? y we so diff??? i omos abit ashamed of dis wae of riting.

Sure, there is always freedom of expression. But what you want to say must be legible in order for people to actually understand it! To end it off, here is a really good blog that has good content and good writing.

Today marks the start of after-exam activities, but somehow I don't feel the excitement and euphoria the I normally feel after the exams. Just a monotonous sense of "sianness" and nothing-to-do attitude. This year, just playing the computer all day long will not do. I need something new, something fresh and exciting. I'm thinking of going to east coast to cycle with velden and the others, or doing something that doesn't involve computers. Somebody give me some suggestions.

Anyway. Today's oral defence was a mixed bag of feelings. I did well for the Q and A, but I stuttered abit in the presentation. The guy judge looked like vincent tan, could be his long lost brother.

When he asked me why my paper didn't have a conclusion, and I told them it wouldnt be fair now since the dispute didn't finish yet, He nodded his head and smiled. Felt like he was saying, "Correct answer, I wanted you to say that."

Uncle Jimmy just gave us our newest assignment. We'll be acting out a play. Practice on Saturday. Every time its a different thing. Woohoo.

Now Listening to: I-E-A-I-A-I-O
By: System of a down

Today I have turned older by one year. I am less young by one year. I am nearer to A levels by one year. I am further from PSLE by one year. I have been breathing for one more year than last year. I have known God for one more year.

Amazing isn't it.

Celebrated my birthday today with my family at Crystal Jade restraunt in Toa Payoh, which was really nice. At first when my mom asked me where i wanted to eat I meant Crystal Jade as a joke. haha. She took it seriously. The "la mian" bowl was as big as a soccer ball, which is just right for stuffing your face into the bowl. I only managed to eat a bowl of la mian, 3 wanton, and 1 sesame ball thingy, which shows how much noodles they gave us.

I just realised recently that my father is super pro at electric guitar. Knows all the famous rock songs' chords by heart. Deep purple, Rainbow(??), ACDC, Metellica, you name it. Im thinking if he didn't become a pastor he'd probably join a band and be a rock star. And now my sister also wants to learn electric guitar ever since she went jamming with her class mates.

Cool huh.

Yay, im now 15 years old.


Now Listening to: ATWA
By: System of a Down

A singaporean guy in Brisbane.

"this afternoon, i was walking to school from the city. i saw this group of angmos, quite beng. you know like walking and shouting,.. disturbing people.. etc. when they cross the road, they think its their road. fucking red man still walk. heng the people here in aus generally quite nice. they wont horn and horn like singaporeans. they will stop the car and let you walk..

when they aproach the next light, they balonglong cross it again.. this time, a small car horn them. the biggest guy among the group, turned ard as the car drove slowly past behind them, kicked the door real hard and denting it...
the small car immediately park by the side and the driver got out..
the big guy walk towards him like big shot like that.. walking as if he is going to beat the shit out of the driver..

the driver, a small guy, came out of his car, walked to the guy. and as he is near him, he took out his wallet and flashed his Police badge in the big guy's face...
.....
WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA :D:D:D:D"



Now Listening to: 海啸
By: Harlem Yu

"" I was tucking Nicky in tonight, and asked him about his school. I said "What are you guys doing at recess these days? Are the girls still chasing you"?He responded: "Well, Kerry.....not John Kerry, but Kerry in my class, she's chasing Christopher".

I couldn't help but laugh at that one. Little Nicky didn't want me to be confused and think that John Kerry was chasing his friends around at recess. ""

- Some housewife blog from America

Now Listening to: Album
By: Renee Olstead

Physics paper is now a huge "?" for me. The hard parts were damn hard, they easy parts were rather easy.

Had a very good time with velden and kenneth at my house today. Did so many things all in an afternoon. We(well, they) played Virtua Tennis for about 2.5 hours(!) while I slogged to a 4-1 Manchester United win over city rivals City on the ps2.

Anyway, badminton sucked because the wind was damn big, and velden kept hitting the shuttlecock to himself. Brought down the soccerball and we played a little bit passing and crossing. Velden not bad leh... good crossing prospect. Just abit kancheong and kicks the ball to hard, nearly hitting the "bai4 bai4" thing that ppl use to offer stuff to their ancestors. Kenneth... needs abit more work, although we did teach him how to stop a ball with his sidefoot and dribble with his instep.

Saw ryan and his girlfriend playing tennis. Just sat there and watched them play around, talking crap all the way. I wont talk about the crap we talked, it would not be appropriate... =)

Have been listening to System of a Down, head-banging metal music, cos I needed to keep awake on the mugging nights. Now listening to some soothing jazz and ballads. I tell you, David foster is a genius when it comes to discovering talent. Look at Renee Olstead and Michael buble. All so young and so talented. I'm really expecting to listen to their songs for years to come.


And when I grow old I'll go, "This Michael buble and Renee Olstead, daddy used to listen to them when I was still in secondary school..."


My child would give me a KL look and listen abit, but not too much. I would still tell him about it, because I loved it when I was young.


Yeah, kinda like how my dad promotes "the whos" and "ritchie blackmore" and "ACDC" to me. I know they are good. But I really don't love it.

Now Listening to: What a difference a day makes
By: Renee Olstead

From now onwards I promise myself not to 记仇 for more than 2 days.

After that I will forget about it and live on....

Please remind me if i forget.

Feeling much happier as a person, as a student, as an examinee today.

Well, not really keen on finishing the examination, since training will resume once the exam finishes, and I will have to regain my own strength as well as help the sec1's regain theirs.

This isn't going to be easy but for me there is always someone too look upon during hard times. =)

Sigh. I really dont know what to say. Im really getting sick of this war of words.

Anyway, If i tried to insult other religions I had done so as a joke, and I apologise if it offended anyone, since nobody said anything, I thought it was fine with you guys.

I'm really tired of being pissed, angry and filled with unhappiness, because of this.

Maybe you will start to "niao" me again when I write this, but I still have to do it:

"God is saying that it is in our own best interest to forgive! He is not talking about what is in the best interest of the person who needs to be forgiven. We are the ones who God is trying to protect. We are the ones who receive the most benefit from forgiveness, not the other person.

A spirit of unforgiveness complicates and compromises our daily walk with God. Forgiving others releases us from anger and allows us to receive the healing we need. The whole reason God has given us specific direction is because He does not want anything to stand between us and Him. God's love for us is beyond our comprehension. Forgiving others spares us from the consequences of living out of an unforgiving heart. "

So, I am trying my best to forgive those who offended me, not that anyone is begging me.

I forgive because I dont want to compromise my relationship with my god. I hope you understand that and not misinterpret it as me wanting act high and mighty or what.

You're probably thinking that you've won the "war".

Maybe you're right, but what does that really mean?

Your right in some ways, maybe I really shouldn't care so much about others.

God Bless.

This will be my last blog before the exams as the next week is the exam week, focusing on the exams will be important.

http://www.dna-double-helix.net/Does-God-Exist.htm

Very comprehensive and detailed comparisons of many philosophical issues that are around us.
Does an intelligent creator exist?
What about dinosaurs?
Did the great flood really happen?
Is hell real?
What is the age of earth?
Nostradamus prophecy?

http://www.dna-double-helix.net/Who-Is-Jesus.htm

Who is Jesus Christ?
When will he come again?
Jesus through the eyes of history
Origin of Christmas

So many things to think about, so little time.

Quotation

I have a right to my anger, and I don't want anybody telling me I shouldn't be, that it's not nice to be, and that something's wrong with me because I get angry.

- Maxine Waters, in Brian Lanker, I Dream a World, 1989

After reading a newspaper article that talked about the school ranking system, I could not help but sense a tinge of betrayal from the MOE. Well, they had said that the school rankings would not be released this year and suddenly it is released with a two page article. But that's besides the point.

In the new ranking system, in which CHS did not even feature in the entire list of Top schools, which they said focused on both the acedemics and the physical activities.

Ms Susan Leong, principal of Cedar Girls', said "If a school does well academically but not in the other areas, then that shows clearly as well in the tables."

I cannot help but feel aggreived when such statements are made, in view of some facts:

1) CHS was the only top school that did not enter the list.

2)It was implying that CHS did not do well in "other" areas, which we will assume that it refers to CCAs

3)It has become a trend that this paper has been "shooting" us, with reference to the ip program article not long ago.

It seems to be a trend that people will often without thinking label CHS as a nerd school, it is a preconceived notion that we just know how to "mug" and nothing else. However, it is a totally flawed viewpoint.

Track and Field----2GOLD

Judo---------------2 GOLD

GYM-------------- 2 GOLD

Air rifle------------2GOLD

Canoing------------1GOLD

Squash-------------1GOLD

Well, to support what y2k said, we already have 10 golds with just 6 of our 18++ CCAs. If that still does not equate to "doing well" in other areas that I really cannot see what else we can do. The only way to handle this situation is to take it in our stride and beat them at their own game. I trust that we will still pick up what we have lost and break the common sterotypical image of CHS.

Recently I've began to notice that actually I keep alot of my thoughts to myself, be it when I see or hear of something.

Maybe I may talk some crap, but what I truely feel about the subject/whatever I still keep in my mind.

I think basicly thats why I'm not the kind who initiates conversation, since I'm not accustomed to talking about what I see/hear/do.

Kinda means I'm an introvert, not the extreme kind but one who prefers listening to speaking.

It's not uncommon for me to run out of topics during conversation, and what usually follows is an awkward silence.

Conscious self	Overall self

Take Free Enneagram Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

Some Sngs blog.

"after night study session today, i went home on my own.

At the YCK station, i met this guy who was about 20 years old. He looked pretty decent but my 6th sense told me that he was not a good person. (read: shifty eyes, kept looking at me, kept shifting closer to me.)

ok initially he just kept looking at me while we were waiting for the darn train, but very soon he had inched his way to my side.

"Hi is this the way to Jurong East?" he asked.

I looked at him and said," huh?" (okok i didn't say that on purpose, he was mumbling and i couldn't catch him.)

He repeated himself.

I nodded my head and took a step back because i realised he had inched even closer.
then he asked," u live around here?", taking a few steps towards me as he spoke.
i took a few steps back again.

"No i don't live around here."

the persistent creep asked again, " so u study around here?"

this time he inched even closer. i took a HUGE step back and shook my head.
(just picture us dancing across the station floor, me moving backwards and him moving forward)

and then he asked me for my name.

i shook my head.

he thought i didn't understand him, so he repeated himself.

that moment, i had enough. i said loudly and curtly, "YOU DUN HAVE TO KNOW." and i stormed off in the opp. direction.
oh u should have seen the expression on his face. STUNG. muahahah."

Feeling abit frustrated now. Accidentally refreshed my page and all that I typed is gone.

Seems that my shoulder pain is finally gone. Thank god(literally). It got so bad last night that I had to mumbled a silent prayer before I popped some panadol, hoping that those little pills would work. I'm glad to say that God answered the prayer and lifted my pain.

Assembly today started off with a horribly boring talk by Mr YapMS, I think he was also rather bored by the topic, not much enthusiasm put into his speech. Class performance by 3P was a good effort. Vocals by Xian Yong not bad. Clapped. After that there were some people from Team Singapore(Swimmers) who came to promote their album (in the name of charity). Not a bad performance, and really sounded like a professional band. The melodies were quite nice, but forgettable, abit too "pop". The sound check pwned the actual songs. I was thinking "Oh yeAH... This is gonna rock" when I heard the sound check, so in the was abit disappointed. Still good though.

Since the thought of learning bass in Church entered my head, I noticed that when listen to music I will sometimes deliberately listen to the bass. I figured anyway since I'll surely do it might as well start early. If you listen to some bands the bass is like a supplementary role, not really required that kind. So far the only band (that I have heard) that uses the bass as an integral part of their music is Maroon 5. Its true. Go listen to she will be loved, sunday morning, or sweetest goodbye. I'll try to learn their songs once I learn to play.

I am going crazy. My right shoulder is feeling horrible. Its the constant pain that you get when you have food poisoning but only this time it is on your shoulder. I cannot focus properly on anything at all, the pain is too uncomfortable to ignore, and I cannot help it. Besides that, I feel that feeling you get when your right arm does not receive blood. Right now as I type I feel absolutely shitty. Actually I have many things to talk about but my condition prohibits it, its tearing me apart. Im going crazy from the pain.

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Stress

It's a weird feeling when it suddenly dawned upon me that after 8 years of education this is the first time I've seen the people around me so hyped-up about the exams, raring to mug. I used to think exams as something that deserved about 60% attention, but this year the amount of thought and talk about exams take up 80% of the school time. Weird.

Saturday.

Today's worship service only involved Pinjun playing on the guitar, no drums, no bass, no keyboard. Reminded myself that its not about the instruments, but its about spending time with Him. Anyway its kinda weird to see pinjun playing guitar since he has always been on the bass. I guess a few extra frets dont make colossal difference. lol. I don't know how to put it in musical terms but the way he played the guitar was like how he plays the bass, using the chords to complement the lyrics. Not like strumming the individual keys(or whatever). Bass at heart i guess. Makes me want to learn bass even more. Unfortunately lessons start in November. Its FOC so I can't complain much though(lol).

Played CS just now(I need some relaxation), on a CS deathmatch server.

Score was 210-185. I had about 60% headshots from my kills. Quite alot. Makes me wonder If it can help me improve in real life. When a person that plays CS is compared with a person who doesn't, will there be a difference? Everytime I watch war movies I always try to imagine myself in the same situation. Not a pleasent thing.

Study = fail

A simple mathematical equation that I found through an email sent by my junior.


===

Why I am not studying???

Because :

No Study = Fail ....................... ( I )

Study = No Fail ............................ ( II )

By Combining ( I ) & ( II ) :

=====> ( No Study + Study ) = ( No Fail + Fail )

By Taking ( Study ) as a common factor in the left hand side
And Taking ( Fail ) as a common factor in the right hand side

=====> Study ( No + 1) = Fail (No + 1 )

By Dividing both sides by ( No + 1)

=====>
Study = Fail

SO I ADVISE YOU TO STOP STUDYING.

I am a Libra. (Also known as "Scales") My Horroscope starts like this:
" You have to be a real loser to be born a Libra. Libras are born with two left hands, both of which grow out of their ass. They are tone-deaf and generally have poor eyesight. The senses of self-esteem and humor are in embryotic states at best. " (Read more | Find yours)

Renewed.

Felt inspired by Khoo Swee Chiow's autobiography. This guy completed the adventuring grand slam when he counquered all odds to be the first South-East Asian to have reached the North and South pole, as well as the 7 summits of the hightest mountain on every continent(long sentence). He was a man who pursued his dream. There were more setbacks than successes throughtout his career, and yet he strived to complete what he started.

Learnt to never give up or lose hope. Compared to him, my problems are nothing. Reading what he did is in stark contrast to what im doing. I'm sitting at home getting comfortable, when I know there's somthing out there waiting for me to do...

And just to sidetrack, I listened to Coldplay's Amsterdam while reading the book and I thought the song kinda fit the story. A purely piano piece, truly reflecting the simplicity, yet majestic qualities of the world's highest peaks. Coldplay's Amsterdam has become one of my favourite songs, period.

Nothing

My life has become empty on weekdays.

I cannot understand why I can feel normal in school, but when I reach home I immdiately feel that emptiness and a sinking feeling in my stomach.

I just realised. Nothing to do.

Just stone in front of computer, which also is my study table.

Feels like a chore to chat with people, only chat to a handful of people that exceeds the usual 'eh got what hw.'

Been doing this for 3 years. Sick of it.

Surely I'm meant to do more than just stoning at the computer and doing homework after dinner, day in day out.

I just don't know what.

Now the only things that sustain me and keep me going is music and God. Without them my life is empty.

Nil.

Why.

Recently I have been going through many many things in my mind.

Much more than the past.

Also been having fluctuations in my mood.

Probably puberty. Feeling extremes of emotions.

And now being the damn exam period hasn't helped.

Stress being stuffed up my nostrils.

The stopping of CCA has given me even more time to think about these things.

Hope that this stressful and crazy period passes quickly.

Hmm.

A rather average day except for the fact that instead of studying with Perry and Yijia in the library, there was some miscommunication(blah) between us. They, thinking I had left, went home by themselves, when I was in the canteen eating my lunch. But like people say, it was sort of a blessing in disguise. Studied abit in school, before going home.

Here comes the surprising part. Hold on to your chair, in case you fall off.

When I reached home, after I did the usual stuff like bathing and stuff, I actually mugged Chemistry for 2 hours! And its not even wednesday. Amazing isn't it. Now feeling very satisfied that tomorrow I have to just look through my notes for one last time. I couldn't see myself doing Chem TYS for 2hours, but I still did it. Yay.

Now I'm left with Chinese TingXie.

Besides that amazing feat, the experience at the barber was also a horrible ordeal. The usual barber(malay) had been replace by a chinese barber. When I got in, the barber was busy working on another person's hair, so I just sat there and waited. The barber instead of letting me wait, asked his son to cut my hair. And you can see that the 'son' was like those 16-18 year olds you find at orchard. The 'son' was prolly a noob at haircutting. He actually spent 10 mins just shaving the back of my head. Btw his hand was also slightly trembling. And the end result was a totally horrible GI haircut that resembled the himalayas(uneven). Felt anger welling up my stomach.

How can he ask his noob son to do my hair? His son is horrible at it, why don't you realise.

I mumbled a silent prayer for his dad to intervene and take over. And he did, but only at the last 5 mins, and the effect was 543864 times better than what his son was working on for 20++ mins. Meaning 20+++ mins of xing1 jing1 dan3 zhan4. Thank god it is over.

Look.

Random blog

""For me, the best reference to "the grand sweep of history" that I encountered in Estonia was a graffito large enough to cover much of the building that hosted it, spelling out in giant red block caps: FUCK OFF SOVIET ARMY. It was clearly intended to be visible from coaches travelling between Tallinn and Russia (which is how I saw it), not least because it was in English. ""

Ugh.

Hmm... today I just realised that I spend 1/7 of my life on Sundays. Incidentally I also spend 1/7 of my life suffering from monday blues -_-"

Anyway, lessons today were kinda normally, with the execption of double maths. Good/bad news: Ms Wong has left her position as our maths teacher, and was replaced today by a Mr Tieu. Friendly face, with neat grey hair, and always with a smile during the 1 hr 20 min. Somehow he has that charisma in him that seems to capture our attention(except Choobc and company). I think it is important that the teacher enjoys what he does; that he actually wants to do it. And when the students see that attitude, they will give him the respect. No matter how the joke about him, there is still a certain level of respect for his enthusiasm, from me at the least.

Somehow you just cant see the love for teaching from Wongsm, the way she did it it was just for the money and nothing else. Enough about that.

Recently I have been really bored and started to make use of blogger's NavBar. Brought me some interesting finds. I found some nice sites like scruffyyami's blog. Since the button brings you to a random blog, I also found some blogs that wErE tOtAlLy UnReAdAbLe.

Please have some thought for your readers? At least show some respect to your readers by writing in legible english. Don't they deserve your effort to at least write in a way that other people don't need to guess the meaning of every shortform and abbrieviation? Imagine having to read this: "derh oni guy hu can gib euu happiness ish derh guy hu hurt euu derh most."

Well it is obviously not in my position to dictate how one blogs.

But please, spare some thought for the eyes.

Hallelujah.

Church service today rocked. I thoroughly enjoyed worshipping God today during the worship service. I felt that the songs were meaningful and that the lyrics touched my heart. Furthermore the songs chosen was a fusion of older and newer songs, so I believe it appealed to the older folks as well as the youth. It felt very different today, because for once I didn't bother about whether other people were looking at me. I just focused on... Him.

Despite that, one thing that I have learnt is that worship is not about whether we enjoy the service. Its not whether the songs chosen were nice or not. We need to constantly remind ourselves that it is not about us, rather it is about God.(with reference to hillsong's lyrics)

I'll bring You more than a song
For a song in itself
Is not what You have required
You search much deeper within
Through the way things appear
You're looking into my heart

I'm coming back to the heart of worship
And it's all about You,
It's all about You, Jesus
I'm sorry, Lord, for the thing I've made it
When it's all about You,
It's all about You, Jesus

I have found renewed enthusiasm within my faith, through problems in life it is strengthened.

On another note, I am recently hooked onto Dan Brown's novels. I used to hear it from other classes dan brown dan brown, and I thought he was like other writers of those obsolete and boring books, sian. But I picked up one and just couldn't stop ever since. This guy is serious! Now I am reading Digital fortress, probably will finish it in a few day's time. (FYI I finished Da Vinci in about a day, so shouldn't be much of a problem. I wish I had this enthusiasm for Fistful of colours)

Wrote the compo from 8++ till 10++. About 1 hour overdue, which is not bad.

God Bless.

Nice.

I just stumbled upon a good blog. Higher-than average blogs in terms of content and level of english. Check it out at http://scruffyyami.blogspot.com/

Short.

I know that I have to finish that chinese gonghan. Its been in my mind since wednesday, constantly reminding me of unfinished business. Somehow I just managed to procastinate for 96 hours, even when I know I wont be able to read Dan Brown in peace. Set down a target for tonight.

Deadline for gonghan completion: 9:30

www.ircspy.com

From a strictly mathematical viewpoint, it goes like this:


What Makes 100%?
What does it mean to give MORE than 100%?
Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%?
We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%.
How about achieving 103%?
What makes up 100% in life?

Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:
If: A. B. C. D. E. F. G. H. I. J. K. L. M. N. O. P. Q. R. S. T. U. V. W. X. Y. Z is represented as
: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.


Then:H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%
And

K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E1
1+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%
But,

A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%
And,

B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%
while,

A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 127%
finally,

B-O-O-T-L-I-C-K-I-N-G
2+15+15+20+12+3+11+9+14+7 = 108%

So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that While Hard work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, it's the Bullshit, Ass kissing and Bootlicking that will put you over the top.

BFOF

Reality series have never been something that I watch for a full episode, because often it reveals the ugly side of human nature. Backstabbing, lying, betrayal, conflict, jealousy are all used to attract viewers like how honey attracts bees. Normally these shows suck quite alot and have no real value in terms of improving our..... er..... values. My big fat obnoxious fiance is about how a lady thinks she is in a reality challenge to convince her parents that she was being married to a B,F,O guy. If she pulls it off, she will get 1 mill dollars. What she didn't know was that the fiance was actually an actor and that he would make it as difficult as possible for her.

My big fat obnoxious fiance however, truly showed that money is nothing compared to a family. When Randi, the lady, confessed to her parents that she wanted to help with the money she won to her family, he dad said:"Randi, its more than just the money..." Really touched my heart. I think it taught me to cherish my family more than ever.

Peace.

Oh man. Somebody save Earth.

senior's blog

"being the kind soul i pointed to him the direction.. but he wanted me to bring him dere.... so i ok lorhz packed my stuff and brought him along.. than when we at the city link.. got one way is straight to esplanade.. i tell him walk straight can liao.. he still wanted me to follow... so i ok lorhz.. just follow.. he toked to me abt his life.. than he is a fillipina working in Singapore and now he meetin his gf at esplanade bay.. tok tok tok.. than we reached the basement.. i wanted to go liao but i haben tell him bye so i wanted to tell him bye.. but he wanted me to follow.. than we walked until this part can see coconut trees.. than i stooped and tell him i wanna study at the library upstairs.. but he wanted me to follow..all the way to the coconut trees.. to wait for his gf WIH HIM! dang.. now the dusgusting part come.... i was like.. studying on my own.. than he wanted me to sit beside him.. i tot there was nth wrong with sitting next to him but i dint move cos bewi mah fun.. than he keep toking and than he like frenly tugged me to his sit dere la.. i was like dang tired... neber sleep much.. sorry and hungry.. so i just suibian lorhz.. but i felt sth amiss liaoz.. than he kissed me on the cheeck... ok i tot it was a filipino gesture of frenship so when he tell me to kiss him back i kiss but a fast one.. cos that guy.. for goodness sake.. dont clean his face.. so oily... than he kissed me one more time.. i feel super farni liao.. than started to flatter me say i bewi kind.. i mean ya duh... I AM WAITING FOR YOUR GF AND I DUN EBEN NOE YOUR MOTIVE... but nvm. than started to say that i am his best fren in Singapore.. its like HEY I DUN EBEN NOE YOUR NAME AND YOUR GENDER PREFERENCE... than he started to treat me like his gf... saying he bewi tired cos i made him walk so long from city hall to esplanade bay.. pls la i dint eben wanna follow.. than he asked me if i tired i say no.. so he touched my calve he say i strong.. lame.. of course duh... than he oso tried alot of times to put my head on his shoulder.. WAD THE HECK!... than he kissed me again.. but i noticed his kisses gets nearer to my mouth.. so i resisted and looked at him in a farni way.. than suddnely .. pulled out my hp as if someone smsed me and i "sms" back and than "somebody called me" and i said"okookok" and told that guy that my fren is waiting for me and i nid to leave (of course no one called me la.. but i was desperate to leave in a polite way).. but he pulled me back and say i could stay to eat lunch with him and his "gf".. well i was desperate.. and every gal from than onwards.. that i see from afar.. i ask if is his gf.. and ask if i can go. of course i tried to resist contact la.. than i requested to leave immediately cos "my fren reach liao".. he said.. 5 mins.. i argued until 2 mins.. and superly looked at hp and made sure that it was onli 2 mins.. and when times up.. faster zao... oh my goodness...."

Bored box

[12:17:16 AM] (f) thomas : what you doing??
[12:17:24 AM] - .Snow: physics
[12:24:29 AM] - .Snow: you?
[12:24:38 AM] (f) thomas : nothing
[12:24:44 AM] (f) thomas : really.
[12:24:56 AM] (f) thomas : staring at desktop
[12:24:58 AM] - .Snow: i see
[12:25:01 AM] - .Snow: lol
[12:25:05 AM] (f) thomas : eh
[12:25:09 AM] (f) thomas : i just realise
[12:25:16 AM] (f) thomas : when u drag a box
[12:25:33 AM] (f) thomas : if the height is 0
[12:25:44 AM] (f) thomas : the box will disappear
[12:25:53 AM] (f) thomas : leaving you with a dot
[12:26:15 AM] - .Snow: lol
[12:26:21 AM] - .Snow: wait, ther'es no box if the height is 0 wad
[12:26:27 AM] (f) thomas : thats the point
[12:26:42 AM] (f) thomas : it gives u a dot
[12:26:48 AM] - .Snow: why's there a dot
[12:26:52 AM] (f) thomas : i dont know
[12:27:07 AM] (f) thomas : if you have 2 dotted lines converging
[12:27:15 AM] (f) thomas : shouldnt it form a solid line
[12:27:42 AM] (f) thomas : im really bored
[12:27:46 AM] - .Snow: lol
[12:27:51 AM] - .Snow: depends hwo they converge i guess

Woah.

----------------S p o i l e r ---------------------------


Imagine a world where Jesus was mortal, where Mary Magdelene was NOT a prostitute but was of royal blood.

Imagine that they were both married, and had a bloodline that carried on till today.

All that you learnt about Jesus being Son of God, and all about his divinity is a lie fabricated by the Catholics over the span of two thousand years to preserve their power and authority.

Da Vinci code. Woohoo.

What a day.

A very long day indeed.

Chemistry lesson
I am starting to find that enthusiasm during chemistry lesson that once fueled me during P6. I find that being attentive during lesson has really brought me the satisfaction of being able to solve the problems. Maybe because with Ooi Zhexi and Sng Tiap Yang beside me I have some competition as well as some negative examples to motivate me(not to insult but really what... u oso didnt do the ws... peace). I shall carry on with this. Jia you!

Training at judo school
Met up with the ChS people at Toa Payoh, and walked to the judo school. I have really lost my stamina and strength. Partly due to my illness a few weeks ago; I have really weakened during my sickness. I lost 5 kg and my immune system has been weak since. Ever since my illness I find the need to have afternoon naps to regain my energy or else I will not be able to take it. This has never been the case prior to the infection.

Anyway, I felt dizzy during training. Never before have I felt that during gi training. Only during pt. Shows that my body is weak. Was already panting after nagekomi. Had a few good throws. Need to work on my aggressiveness as my arm power. It is just not enough to apply o-sotogari.

Religion
These few days I have really realised the power of faith and in God. It has been the source of my strength during the past few days that have been rather turbulent in terms of my relationships with my peers. To be honest, for the past few days i had quarrels with velden, I was pissed with yeong keong. Besides that, I felt really empty and lonely. I realised that my relationships with 3K people have been rather superficial and empty. Couldn't find anyone who will spend time to talk to me. Had to try to mix myself into the cliques in the class. Theres the 2J clique(Yijia, shupeng and blah blah) the 2I clique(Yongjing, Kenneb, Kai keat) and the 2k clique(all the rest).

Didn't really work. I tried to find some real friends when I didn't chat with my judo friends. Didn't really work. Thats where one thing struck my mind: the most important relationship is the one that is between me and God. I just trusted in him to bring me out of this "semi-depression", and find some light in my lonely existence. And Im proud to say that he has helped me though.

Thats all. May the lord smile upon you.

Nukezone.

Time has come for me to review my current nukezone status. I have rejoined Olumpians as part of a member. Seems to me that the main problem of our clan is that we are all fighting our own wars, when we are supposed to fight as a clan. What do I mean by that?

Firstly, we do not have a defined strategy to follow. Either that or it is constantly changing. I see some people with infantries then the next day they start on Heavy artilleries. Maybe its because of our clan's bad start, I don't know. We need some real strategy, be it we go BK or anything.

Besides that, we are fighting our own wars. Everyone is taking on his own enemy, which makes us a weak force. Allow me to use a physics equation to illustrate.

Pressure = Force/Area

Pressure is the speed of the kill.
Force = the attacks of our clan members
Area = the enemy provinces.

Lets say everyone attacks 1 province each. The attacks would be spread out, and each enemy would have been attacked merely once. No big deal. However, if we narrow down the province to 1 person, the province would have been attacked a total for 20 times, thus increasing the speed of the kill drastically. The key phrase is focus fire. however, since i'm merely a clan trustee i don't think that im in the position to set down a target for Olumpians. I respect his decision for us to attack the way we do now.

Lastly, I think we are having way too much wars now. i think the CL should decide on which clan to attack and not keep changing targets.

Just some thoughts on the current situation.

woot.

Just heard from my sister that she called her good friend in Australia using her handphone for 1hour plus. Woot. Can't wait to see the bill.

Update: Chey. Only cost her 6 dollars. Seems that there is a special rate for overseas calls.

The heart of worship.

When the music fades
All is stripped away
And I simply come
Longing just to bring
Something that's of worth
That will bless Your heart
I'll bring You more than a song
For a song in itself
Is not what You have required
You search much deeper within
Through the way things appear
You're looking into my heart

I'm coming back to the heart of worship
And it's all about You,
It's all about You, Jesus
I'm sorry, Lord, for the thing I've made it
When it's all about You,
It's all about You, Jesus

King of endless worth
No one could express
How much You deserve
Though I'm weak and poor
All I have is Yours
Every single breath
I'll bring You more than a song
For a song in itself
Is not what You have required
You search much deeper within
Through the way things appear
You're looking into my heart

I'm coming back to the heart of worship
And it's all about You,
It's all about You, Jesus
I'm sorry, Lord, for the thing I've made it
And it's all about You,
It's all about You, Jesus

I'm coming back to the heart of worship,
And it's all about You,
It's all about You, Jesus
I'm sorry, Lord, for the thing I've made it
And it's all about You,
It's all about You, Jesus

----------------

Seriously this song rocks. And its Christian.

...

I tried to show some concern and what did I get? A whole bunch of hostilities. I thought that he would know me well enough that I take these things seriously to not joke about it. Clearly I'm one of them "Chinese High people, very insensitive".

Fine. Whatever. Sorry for being nosey and not minding my own buisiness.

Lol.

There's this guy that my sister met on gunbound about 2-3 months ago that I didn't really have good feelings towards. Kept bugging my sister from the way he messaged her, be it through email or msn. I read some of their chat logs(hey i have to protect my sister!) and saw some really mushy stuff that made my hair stand. He was really bugging my sister with all his mushy stuff and dunno-what-thing messages. Was about to add him and then tell him to please piss off. I guess there's no need for that anymore. Just saw my sister send him an email. It was something like:

Hello. I'm really sorry that i didn't reply to you. I just wanted to tell you that its not because I dont like you but i just dont want to make friends from the internet...even if they dont want to harm you... just delete me from your msn plsplspls....

pls dun reply...

I guess that did it. Haha.

Teacher's day. Sigh.

This year's teacher day = mediocre. No one was really in the mood to appreciate the teachers, probably because of sabbaticals and everyone was abit sian. Also because the older you get, the more awkward you feel when thanking teachers, I guess. The celebrations itself were pretty much average. Except for the LOTR music part which was lame. Performances were so-so.

Not many people went back this year. Didn't get to see Wentao or Jinyu or Chin Nam. And i thought that we could go out for lunch or something. Despite the initial disappointment, I still got to see Mrs Jenny Leong, still as friendly as ever. Realised that primary school teachers are more chio than secondary school teachers(swimmer noticed that). lol. Think is because secondary school give more problems. Haha.

Didn't go and buy games because I felt damn tired. Still havent recovered fully, abit weak in the sense that I can still get tired easilyu during the day

Had a horrible afternoon. Reached home at 12:30. Ate at 1:30. Then slept till 5:00(OMG).

Phew.

Everything seemed to be in a blur yesterday as after my previous post, when I woke up, instead of feeling better I felt even worse. Went to consult John instead of Dr Ang. Says its a throat infection. Gave me a ton of pills to eat, and also a jab to lower my fever. Crazy guy. Gave me an injection of an entire syringe of fluids. Anyway, when I went home I just slept for only like, what, 4 hours? Then I woke up because my fever came back again. Sigh.

Therefore I spent the entire afternoon doing nothing much, except for drinking cold water to keep myself cool, applying those cooling thingys to keep my brain cool, and washing my face for a total of 6 times just to feel better. Couldn't sleep at all because whenever I stayed still for a moment my face would feel unbearably hot. I think I spent the whole afternoon at 38.5 - 39.7 degrees.

Then came the part where my temp rose to 39.9, and my family was starting to get worried. Rushed to hospital and consulted a doctor, who made us wait for at least 1 hour before seeing us. By then my head was extremely heavy and well, I wasn't in the state of being able to walk on my own. Doc gave me about 40(!!) panadol pills and told me to come back if fever persists for another 2 days.

On the way home i heard through my mom that my sis actually cried when she prayed with my grandma at home while we were in Tan Tock Seng cos she was worried about me. Very touched.

Sniff. Cough.

Feeling really horrible today. I've just woken up shiverring from a nap in my air-conditioned room with my feet and hands ice cold. My throat feels terrible and I think I have a fever.

Really shouldn't have gone to watch AVP with the other guys.

I had already felt unwell before I went into the cinema.

When the show ended, I felt extremely groggy and my head seemed as if it weighed a ton. I attributed that to adreneline and ignored.

When I came back it took only 15 mins on the com to make it unbearable and I collasped onto the bed, sleeping all the way from 6:15++ to 8:30. Really weak and tired when I awoke.

Just popped 2 panadols and will be konking off soon.

Even now as I type my limbs feel weak...

God bless.

Yay. Nay.

Just got a spiffy new Samsung T630, which isn't too poseurish but still manages to look slick and stylish. This new purchase is due to my OK-WAP which crashed. Says that all my data was destroyed and I should go contact my service provider. Oh well.

For nearly three years "we" stayed together, calling people, smsing people. I'll miss you OKWAP...

But here comes my new T630, boasting a cam and wap capabilities. Yeah.



Oh yeah mine is black. Cool factor X 2

Vernon says that he "killed" a girl(I wont mention who) from nygh, by verbally abusing her with insults. I say thats why people always label CHS people as crude and uncouth. Because of people like vernon. I mean, how can you expect someone to be a gentleman when he likes to curse and swear at girls? If you like to insult people so much, why dont you pick on someone your own gender. Anyway even though I didn't like the girl as a person, I am still siding with her because of vernon. Evidently he thinks it's "cool" and "badass" to do such things. Sigh, no point talking about it.

"For the benefit of my less informed readers, guys from THE Chinese High School are fabled creatures of the nerdus desponderilius maximus species, and are highly elusive due to their choice of habitat. Often seen lurking in Popular bookshops around the island, and more commonly at THE Chinese High School bus stops, they are in their element when half buried in physics textbooks. Most of their time is spent indoors, (also explaining their hereditary white and pasty skin), engaging in a recreational activity the layman knows as mugging-your-brains-out, but which the chinese high boy calls self-improvement. It is a well-known fact that they are particular deficient in the area of personality. The only species known to mix with them fairly adequately are known as Nanyang girls, and this not by choice, but by forced in-breeding between the two schools enforced by the powers-that-be, that has slowly and painfully conditioned these downtrodden Nanyangians to learn how to tolerate and appreciate their male equivalent. To the rest of the Singaporean population, Chinese High Guys still remain an elusive mystery to date." ~~probable former rgs girl

Rather sad to know that students from the Chinese High are associated with such steorotypes.

despo? nerd? mugger? freaks? square?

Sigh.

Rojak Idol

As much as we emphasise that our main resource is the people, it can be said that Singaporeans are, well, less "talented" than the other countries. We have to "copy" other shows and base our shows on successful franchises, and do not really produce our "own" programme that is really considered globally recognized.

Singapore Idol seemed rather mediocre. Didn't really see anyone who stood out from the rest. I think the judges are trying too hard to sound like Simon. The end result is everyone having a bit of nastiness in their comments but none of them stood out. There was this plump woman, i cannot remember her name, who could sing very well but just didn't make it. Bloody prejudice. Since when did being beautiful decide whether you can sing?

Totally f**ked

Double maths today with Wong Soi Moi was horrible. Kept thinking during class that she bears an incredible resemblence to Gollum from LOTR. Anyway, my results this term is pretty much f***ed since i obtained a grand total of 41 marks for maths this term. For Chemistry, I felt abit disappointed since I only got c5 after studying until like "sai4". Also heard that physics for 3J was in the tatters too. Think that 3K cant be better.

I found out that xinyi was a friend of jonathan *gasp* and that vernon had a quarrel with him in the jam~ room over her. Hope its not because of me.

Referring to the previous post, the ny girl talked to y2k and wanted to apologize to me last night. Heh. Din really force the apology from her if she didn't want to say it outright. Anyway, we are no longer at war so everything is back to normal now.

News: My provice has been killed during the war surrounding y2k's clan. Fed up with his warring tendencies. Probably leave him to join clans with less hardcore-warclan tendencies.

Yawn.

Feeling better today, but its late so i'll blog tomorrow on 19/8/2004...




tomorrow?? 19/8/2004??



:S

Pissed.

Feeling very pissed right now, over an argument I had online with an NY girl. Normally I don't really bother with her but today when I glanced upon her nick I felt my blood rising. Her nick was: chs full of despo freaks. I don't know why but I could feel the anger in me rising. so I confronted her and had an argument with her.

[09:05:39 PM] - talon - So: what do you mean by despo freaks
[09:06:32 PM] =muacks= (br: hahha....
[09:06:58 PM] =muacks= (br: em.. despo lor.. den freaky lor..
[09:07:02 PM] =muacks= (br: den make up despo freaks lor
[09:07:15 PM] - talon - So: thats a generalisation
[09:07:32 PM] =muacks= (br: i say full of wad... i got sae every1 meh?
[09:07:53 PM] * =muacks= (brb) i found a decision today..... oh gosh! chs is full of despo freaks... has changed his/her name to =muacks= (brb) chs: despo freaks... but more irresponsible guys.. sad.....
[09:07:54 PM] - talon - So: thats almost the same meaning
[09:07:58 PM] =muacks= (br: no.. haha
[09:08:34 PM] - talon - So: so have you seen the entire 1800 popultion
[09:09:01 PM] - talon - So: if not then please try not to make such comments
[09:09:45 PM] - talon - So: if i saw some ah lian in ny, can i say that ny is full of ah lians
[09:11:00 PM] =muacks= (br: can
[09:11:04 PM] * - talon - Sometime you just have to sit back and watch the olympics (Looking fierce) has changed his/her name to - talon - Fallacies.
[09:11:28 PM] - talon - Fa: and you are probably one if you can say that
[09:12:36 PM] =muacks= (br: mayb
[09:12:37 PM] =muacks= (br: how u noe
[09:12:43 PM] =muacks= (br: probably only wad
[09:13:15 PM] - talon - Fa: where is your sense of belonging to the school
[09:13:34 PM] - talon - Fa: don't you have any
[09:13:41 PM] - talon - Fa: probably not
[09:14:03 PM] * =muacks= (brb) chs: despo freaks... but more irresponsible guys.. sad..... has changed his/her name to =muacks= (brb) shut! if you just ignore w/o even clarifying, how responsible can u be
[09:14:07 PM] =muacks= (br: yuh
[09:14:09 PM] =muacks= (br: probably not
[09:14:26 PM] - talon - Fa: then i think you should be ashamed of yourself
[09:14:36 PM] =muacks= (br: oh really?
[09:14:44 PM] =muacks= (br: but some things must see if i'm worth belonging to rite?
[09:15:06 PM] =muacks= (br: at least i'm not those who saes i love sch on my mouth
[09:15:09 PM] - talon - Fa: why dont you ask for a transfer then?
[09:15:12 PM] =muacks= (br: some things r not just meant to be said only
[09:15:17 PM] =muacks= (br: oh .. why shld i?
[09:15:26 PM] =muacks= (br: r u going to help me go with those procedures n everything
[09:15:35 PM] - talon - Fa: since you cant feel a sens of beloging
[09:15:39 PM] =muacks= (br: r u going to help me adjust to the new environment n stuff?
[09:15:42 PM] =muacks= (br: if u don't, shut
[09:15:47 PM] =muacks= (br: how u noe i dun feel
[09:15:51 PM] =muacks= (br: r u me?
[09:16:05 PM] - talon - Fa: you said you didnt feel for your school
[09:16:15 PM] * =muacks= (brb) shut! if you just ignore w/o even clarifying, how responsible can u be has changed his/her name to =muacks= (brb) freaks around claiming that... GOSH! suckers....
[09:16:21 PM] =muacks= (br: oh really?
[09:16:26 PM] =muacks= (br: do u mind finding tt sentence for me?
[09:16:28 PM] - talon - Fa: you really like to generalise dont you?
[09:16:33 PM] =muacks= (br: since when?
[09:16:44 PM] =muacks= (br: n pls be clear wad's generalization
[09:17:11 PM] - talon - Fa: chs - full of despos you probably got that by seeing some gepper and think he likes you
[09:17:22 PM] - talon - Fa: please continue dreaming
[09:18:09 PM] - talon - Fa: what im trying to point out is that you CANNOT label the school being FULL of despos by just impressions of some people
[09:18:21 PM] - talon - Fa: they are NOT representive of the school
[09:18:54 PM] - talon - Fa: so please dont go labelling schools as this and that
[09:20:12 PM] =muacks= (br: oh really.. must it be happening on me ONLY? then indeed that's too much of generalization arh...
[09:20:22 PM] =muacks= (br: oh yes.. ain't dreams BEAUTIFUL.......... goodness gracious
[09:20:41 PM] =muacks= (br: too bad.. thot ur sch is Tchs ... whatever...
[09:20:59 PM] =muacks= (br: they don't represent sch indeed.. each sch is filled with so many diff kinds of pple
[09:21:15 PM] =muacks= (br: who represent sch arh? just the building itself n nth izit?
[09:21:41 PM] * =muacks= (brb) freaks around claiming that... GOSH! suckers.... has changed his/her name to =muacks= (brb) over-sensitive !!!
[09:22:06 PM] =muacks= (br: whatever, if u r trying to talk peace..leave it...
[09:22:11 PM] - talon - Fa: the student body represents the school. but the individual "freaks" that you mention DO NOT represent the entire population
[09:22:34 PM] =muacks= (br: i don't go around labelling schs like tt... n when i do... how personal can it get being MY nick..
[09:22:38 PM] =muacks= (br: u can choose not to see...
[09:23:06 PM] - talon - Fa: how can I ignore an attack on my school
[09:23:14 PM] =muacks= (br: how GReaT
[09:23:17 PM] - talon - Fa: if you say some chs people are despos
[09:23:24 PM] - talon - Fa: i wont really bother
[09:23:40 PM] - talon - Fa: really.
[09:23:50 PM] =muacks= (br: oh.. so must i write at the back of the nick... i'm just generalizing
[09:23:52 PM] =muacks= (br: izit?
[09:24:00 PM] =muacks= (br: nvm.. i think ur tone is SO much better than mine
[09:24:08 PM] =muacks= (br: just leave me alone la.. i think i'm just being bad
[09:24:09 PM] =muacks= (br: happy?
[09:24:12 PM] - talon - Fa: you are too unsensitive
[09:24:19 PM] =muacks= (br: n u r too sensitive
[09:24:45 PM] =muacks= (br: i'm being sacar la.. even if u r so rational enough to talk in a better tone..
[09:24:45 PM] =muacks= (br: wadever
[09:25:14 PM] - talon - Fa: I hate the "whatever"
[09:25:30 PM] - talon - Fa: trying to evade the problem
[09:25:57 PM] - talon - Fa: brush off the issue, yes. suit yourself.

As you can see, I just totally hated her nick. So instead of giving me reasons why her personal experiences have led her to conclude that chs people are all despo freaks, she just tried to use sacarsm to... dunno.. flame me? anyway She was beating around the bush and I got fed up with her attitude, and her lack of ability to offer valid arguments using english. "n what do you mean by generalisation?" Helloo, if you cant even grasp basic english then please dont make me waste my time typing things that you dont understand.

And look at the gorgeous sacarsm. Is that the only thing girls know how to do? If that is your only pathetic attempt to make me speechless then ITS NOT WORKING. Your sensless and aimless sacarstic remarks only reduce the level of respect anyone has for you. Cut the crap and get to the point. People will thank you for it.

People, if you read carefully, you can find that she has not offered even ONE point to counter my arguments. Add that up with a little bit of amnesia(If you refer to the words in bold) there is only one word to describe: pwned.