Saturday.

Today's worship service only involved Pinjun playing on the guitar, no drums, no bass, no keyboard. Reminded myself that its not about the instruments, but its about spending time with Him. Anyway its kinda weird to see pinjun playing guitar since he has always been on the bass. I guess a few extra frets dont make colossal difference. lol. I don't know how to put it in musical terms but the way he played the guitar was like how he plays the bass, using the chords to complement the lyrics. Not like strumming the individual keys(or whatever). Bass at heart i guess. Makes me want to learn bass even more. Unfortunately lessons start in November. Its FOC so I can't complain much though(lol).

Played CS just now(I need some relaxation), on a CS deathmatch server.

Score was 210-185. I had about 60% headshots from my kills. Quite alot. Makes me wonder If it can help me improve in real life. When a person that plays CS is compared with a person who doesn't, will there be a difference? Everytime I watch war movies I always try to imagine myself in the same situation. Not a pleasent thing.

Study = fail

A simple mathematical equation that I found through an email sent by my junior.


===

Why I am not studying???

Because :

No Study = Fail ....................... ( I )

Study = No Fail ............................ ( II )

By Combining ( I ) & ( II ) :

=====> ( No Study + Study ) = ( No Fail + Fail )

By Taking ( Study ) as a common factor in the left hand side
And Taking ( Fail ) as a common factor in the right hand side

=====> Study ( No + 1) = Fail (No + 1 )

By Dividing both sides by ( No + 1)

=====>
Study = Fail

SO I ADVISE YOU TO STOP STUDYING.

I am a Libra. (Also known as "Scales") My Horroscope starts like this:
" You have to be a real loser to be born a Libra. Libras are born with two left hands, both of which grow out of their ass. They are tone-deaf and generally have poor eyesight. The senses of self-esteem and humor are in embryotic states at best. " (Read more | Find yours)

Renewed.

Felt inspired by Khoo Swee Chiow's autobiography. This guy completed the adventuring grand slam when he counquered all odds to be the first South-East Asian to have reached the North and South pole, as well as the 7 summits of the hightest mountain on every continent(long sentence). He was a man who pursued his dream. There were more setbacks than successes throughtout his career, and yet he strived to complete what he started.

Learnt to never give up or lose hope. Compared to him, my problems are nothing. Reading what he did is in stark contrast to what im doing. I'm sitting at home getting comfortable, when I know there's somthing out there waiting for me to do...

And just to sidetrack, I listened to Coldplay's Amsterdam while reading the book and I thought the song kinda fit the story. A purely piano piece, truly reflecting the simplicity, yet majestic qualities of the world's highest peaks. Coldplay's Amsterdam has become one of my favourite songs, period.

Nothing

My life has become empty on weekdays.

I cannot understand why I can feel normal in school, but when I reach home I immdiately feel that emptiness and a sinking feeling in my stomach.

I just realised. Nothing to do.

Just stone in front of computer, which also is my study table.

Feels like a chore to chat with people, only chat to a handful of people that exceeds the usual 'eh got what hw.'

Been doing this for 3 years. Sick of it.

Surely I'm meant to do more than just stoning at the computer and doing homework after dinner, day in day out.

I just don't know what.

Now the only things that sustain me and keep me going is music and God. Without them my life is empty.

Nil.

Why.

Recently I have been going through many many things in my mind.

Much more than the past.

Also been having fluctuations in my mood.

Probably puberty. Feeling extremes of emotions.

And now being the damn exam period hasn't helped.

Stress being stuffed up my nostrils.

The stopping of CCA has given me even more time to think about these things.

Hope that this stressful and crazy period passes quickly.

Hmm.

A rather average day except for the fact that instead of studying with Perry and Yijia in the library, there was some miscommunication(blah) between us. They, thinking I had left, went home by themselves, when I was in the canteen eating my lunch. But like people say, it was sort of a blessing in disguise. Studied abit in school, before going home.

Here comes the surprising part. Hold on to your chair, in case you fall off.

When I reached home, after I did the usual stuff like bathing and stuff, I actually mugged Chemistry for 2 hours! And its not even wednesday. Amazing isn't it. Now feeling very satisfied that tomorrow I have to just look through my notes for one last time. I couldn't see myself doing Chem TYS for 2hours, but I still did it. Yay.

Now I'm left with Chinese TingXie.

Besides that amazing feat, the experience at the barber was also a horrible ordeal. The usual barber(malay) had been replace by a chinese barber. When I got in, the barber was busy working on another person's hair, so I just sat there and waited. The barber instead of letting me wait, asked his son to cut my hair. And you can see that the 'son' was like those 16-18 year olds you find at orchard. The 'son' was prolly a noob at haircutting. He actually spent 10 mins just shaving the back of my head. Btw his hand was also slightly trembling. And the end result was a totally horrible GI haircut that resembled the himalayas(uneven). Felt anger welling up my stomach.

How can he ask his noob son to do my hair? His son is horrible at it, why don't you realise.

I mumbled a silent prayer for his dad to intervene and take over. And he did, but only at the last 5 mins, and the effect was 543864 times better than what his son was working on for 20++ mins. Meaning 20+++ mins of xing1 jing1 dan3 zhan4. Thank god it is over.

Look.

Random blog

""For me, the best reference to "the grand sweep of history" that I encountered in Estonia was a graffito large enough to cover much of the building that hosted it, spelling out in giant red block caps: FUCK OFF SOVIET ARMY. It was clearly intended to be visible from coaches travelling between Tallinn and Russia (which is how I saw it), not least because it was in English. ""

Ugh.

Hmm... today I just realised that I spend 1/7 of my life on Sundays. Incidentally I also spend 1/7 of my life suffering from monday blues -_-"

Anyway, lessons today were kinda normally, with the execption of double maths. Good/bad news: Ms Wong has left her position as our maths teacher, and was replaced today by a Mr Tieu. Friendly face, with neat grey hair, and always with a smile during the 1 hr 20 min. Somehow he has that charisma in him that seems to capture our attention(except Choobc and company). I think it is important that the teacher enjoys what he does; that he actually wants to do it. And when the students see that attitude, they will give him the respect. No matter how the joke about him, there is still a certain level of respect for his enthusiasm, from me at the least.

Somehow you just cant see the love for teaching from Wongsm, the way she did it it was just for the money and nothing else. Enough about that.

Recently I have been really bored and started to make use of blogger's NavBar. Brought me some interesting finds. I found some nice sites like scruffyyami's blog. Since the button brings you to a random blog, I also found some blogs that wErE tOtAlLy UnReAdAbLe.

Please have some thought for your readers? At least show some respect to your readers by writing in legible english. Don't they deserve your effort to at least write in a way that other people don't need to guess the meaning of every shortform and abbrieviation? Imagine having to read this: "derh oni guy hu can gib euu happiness ish derh guy hu hurt euu derh most."

Well it is obviously not in my position to dictate how one blogs.

But please, spare some thought for the eyes.

Hallelujah.

Church service today rocked. I thoroughly enjoyed worshipping God today during the worship service. I felt that the songs were meaningful and that the lyrics touched my heart. Furthermore the songs chosen was a fusion of older and newer songs, so I believe it appealed to the older folks as well as the youth. It felt very different today, because for once I didn't bother about whether other people were looking at me. I just focused on... Him.

Despite that, one thing that I have learnt is that worship is not about whether we enjoy the service. Its not whether the songs chosen were nice or not. We need to constantly remind ourselves that it is not about us, rather it is about God.(with reference to hillsong's lyrics)

I'll bring You more than a song
For a song in itself
Is not what You have required
You search much deeper within
Through the way things appear
You're looking into my heart

I'm coming back to the heart of worship
And it's all about You,
It's all about You, Jesus
I'm sorry, Lord, for the thing I've made it
When it's all about You,
It's all about You, Jesus

I have found renewed enthusiasm within my faith, through problems in life it is strengthened.

On another note, I am recently hooked onto Dan Brown's novels. I used to hear it from other classes dan brown dan brown, and I thought he was like other writers of those obsolete and boring books, sian. But I picked up one and just couldn't stop ever since. This guy is serious! Now I am reading Digital fortress, probably will finish it in a few day's time. (FYI I finished Da Vinci in about a day, so shouldn't be much of a problem. I wish I had this enthusiasm for Fistful of colours)

Wrote the compo from 8++ till 10++. About 1 hour overdue, which is not bad.

God Bless.

Nice.

I just stumbled upon a good blog. Higher-than average blogs in terms of content and level of english. Check it out at http://scruffyyami.blogspot.com/

Short.

I know that I have to finish that chinese gonghan. Its been in my mind since wednesday, constantly reminding me of unfinished business. Somehow I just managed to procastinate for 96 hours, even when I know I wont be able to read Dan Brown in peace. Set down a target for tonight.

Deadline for gonghan completion: 9:30