All I wanted.

2005-09-29T22:03:00.000+08:00

This blog has ceased to exist. Coincidentally, this post also happens to be the 150th post of this blog. Haha.

Please do not visit this anymore. Don't waste your time.

Go and mug!

2005-09-03T21:51:00.000+08:00

Been some time since I blogged here. Not that I haven't been bloggin lately. Just that I've been blogging somewhere else, somewhere that only some of my brothers will go, in place of this blog.

So people reading this, if any, please note that this blog will cease to be updated as of now.

2005-07-29T21:42:00.000+08:00

Life passes so quickly... Heard about guilan's passing away yesterday morning, and was really shocked. Couldn't really believe the sms that Jack sent me.

Guess that it osrt of woke me up to the vulnerabilities of man, how frail we are that we could be gone any moment, anywhere, and be taken back up, or for some, sent down.

She was very friendly, and always smiled whenever I saw her, it didn't occur to me that her life would be over so soon. It occured to nobody. It was more than a year a ago when she left, I guess, and she had been close friends with the youths. I could still remember her during the very first youth camp that I attended.

Somehow to me, nothing like this would happen to anyone that I knew; It had never been the case. But yesterday I received a wake up call. I couldn't imagine any of my friends go in such a sudden manner, and I was shocked...

Will I be ready to face God when he decides to bring me back?

Will I be able to answer to him if he does so five minutes later from the posting of this blog?

I really don't know.

Give me peace...

2005-07-26T19:37:00.000+08:00

All geared up for one final stretch of MRP'ing, two solid hours should be enough.

Almost done anyway.

Mind boggling afternoon, MRP all the way.

What I'm more concerned about is finding the time to write a meaningful piece of an ariticle for Grad Night, due tomorrow. Really don't want to mess it up, leaving me to regret.

Wanna write more, but, maybe next time.

2005-07-25T22:13:00.000+08:00

Learnt alot over the weekend through my serving and throughout my activities in church. Serving was great all in all, except for some big mistakes nearing the end, however, I just treat it as a learning experience. Even though it really brought the worship to quite a low point.

I for one, learnt a new way to transpose songs, by playing the 4th, 5th and then 1st.

There's this unwritten rule that people don't criticise the worship team to me... people always go 'not bad lah' or 'okay lor', as if I don't already know that it was really a big cock-up. hahah. like some consolation. I know they just want to encourage us, but sometimes some constructive criticism could help. Appreciate my mentor's feedback yesterday.

Come on! Go ahead and criticise me! That's the only way I can learn faster.

Haven't been blogging for quite some time. Was very inspired by the professional kind of worship put up by our music ministries. Sometimes I feel like a little kid going 'wow' when watching them play. It's like all the 'tu2 di4' watching their masters play. Moses is there. Joshua is there. Pinjun is there. There's just so much dynamism, so much teamwork, so much little fills and attacks that make the music good. And what's important is that they all work for a common purpose, that is to bring our church worship to a new level. Which is something that we've always been trying to do.

I wonder when we, the youths, will reach their level, or even surpass them. I guess we'll be praying hard to be good worshippers/musicians, to bring ground-breaking worship to peopel. If that's God's will, I sure he will bring us there.

Even so, I believe I still need to do something to help god bring me there. So I'm devoting at least half an hour reading up on theory and practicing daily.

Its pretty obvious where my interests lay, and I think its really a 180 turn from where I was heading 9 months ago. And its for the better, so praise god!

Now Listening to: Times like these
By: Jack Johnson

2005-07-13T20:00:00.000+08:00

It never turned out the way I wanted it to.

What a setback!

Did I put in my best? Yes!

I thought so much, trained so hard, but did my bout do me justice? No!

Thoughts began to surface in the toilet. Am I just not good enough?

Deep down, I knew I could win. I told myself. 12 more months. One more time.

Burn, fire, burn.

Even so, the feeling cannot be stopped, the flow cannot be stemmed, I just need to get over it.

2005-07-05T22:09:00.000+08:00

It has been 22 hours since my gastric condition occured. I've been in pain ever since, be it great or minute pain.

Thank God for that 1 hour, that I prayed he would take away the pain. And, surely, for that 1 hour of physics test I was fine. And then It came back.

Really cannot afford to get sick now. Lousy stomach.

Now Listening to: There is Nothing Like
By: Hillsong United

2005-07-05T00:20:00.000+08:00

Serving was fantastic yesterday, totally enjoyed the experience, the experience of true worship.

Terribly shagged now. Physics test in about 8 hours time. Horrible stomach ache.

Can't blog anymore, the pain is killing me.

Now Listening to: White Shadows
By: Coldplay

2005-06-27T22:55:00.000+08:00

I love my bass woohoo!

Cant stop playing it, thinking about it, imagining myself playing it.

Some progress today, figured out about 80% of Soul to Squeeze by RHCP. Melodic and graceful. Hope to catch the rest of the song through tabs. So excited about my bass, which is unlike me. I'm really feeling the benefits of being able to practice everyday, hopefully I'll be as good as moses in about 20 years time! Yay!

But seriously, I think the practice really helps alot, so I will practice 30 mins everyday.

Anyway, great welcome back to the school, since we did a "gong han" on our first double chinese period on the first day of school! Surprise, Surprise! The other lessons were quite slack, which is good.

Did something quite stupid today, but alas I will put at the back of my head, and nobody will know. It gets dumber the more I think about it.

2 more days to individuals, time to show what I'm made of...

Now Listening to: Soul to squeeze
By: Red Hot Chilli Peppers

2005-06-26T22:52:00.000+08:00

Arrr. I really messed my confirmation up... I think. Said things that I shouldn't have said. Ahh well, I guess it's going to be a permanent part of my painful memories... haha =) Embarassing moments are aplenty in one's life, and well, as long as I don't die from it i'm fine. Funny thing is that I'm not bothered by it, and the guys seem more concerned about it than me... hahaha.

Friday had its fair share of touching moments too, both during and after the entire ceremony. I'm glad that my sharing really touched many hearts, and I hope it was a great encouragement to those under the same type of problems. It was rather spontaneous, and some things that I had prepared to say just flew out of the window, leaving me to think on the spot. But it ended up fine anyhow, so praise the lord!

Ahh yes our judokas were there too. Great, great encouragement to me.

To sidetrack a little, my dad was playing arcade pinball on his desktop just now(with booming sound effects). Must be quite bored.

2005-06-20T00:50:00.000+08:00

Listened to a very powerful sermon today. The female pastor(?) talked about the power of the holy spirit, and what it can do to a person. Someone like me. She shared about how it has the power to totally change a person's life, and how when you feel it, you just know it is the spirit at work. Don't know why, but I really felt touched by her ending prayer, and its like a sudden gush of strong feelings that hit me in like 5 seconds, when 5 seconds before I was just listening passively. Never felt like that before. It had to be the Holy Spirit at work.

Suddenly, like what she said, I felt free. I felt like I lost control of myself, and just kept on praying and praying and praying. When we sang the song, I didn't really care about the rest anymore. When we clapped, I just clapped loudy. When we jumped, we really jumped.

Amazing. So much freedom, so much joy. Can't believe I did that.

Anyway.

My hair needs to grow longer. Too short to be cut, too long to look neat. Just right in the middle in terms of length, looking like a rambutan. All hail the rambutans in the judo club!

Now Listening to: All of My Days
By: Hillsong

Camp

2005-06-13T19:08:00.000+08:00

Though relatively short, it was the biggest, and most enjoyable camp that I have participated in. Could really see that the people were really engaged in the activities, including the new friends. It's really by God's grace that this BGR camp was such a success, looking back in Jan, where the response was really lukewarm at best. Saw that many of our teens have really grown, the 6 of our fellowship of the ring in the teens guys are all group ic's, taking care of the younger ones, and that's really great. The girls have also displayed great maturity in the things they do, I think it's something that nobody should take for granted. I think we should give thanks for their strong spiritual growth, that is inherent even in my sis, after only about what, 1 year in RYM?

Certainly learnt many new things, and clarified alot of my doubts.

I guess sometimes we tend to live by the standards set by the society, by our peers; what we should be doing and stuff like that. But the strong message that resonated in me is that we live not by the standards of others, but according to His standards. It may not be easy, but I think its the right thing to do. Those who attended the camp would agree.

The most satisfying part during the camp would be the group performance. Amazed by the... 'stunning' performances of some of our sisters. I never knew people like Shumin could be so... how do you put it... so menacing, to the point that it frightens me a little. Oh well, I guess the camp really unleashes the beast within us. Besides group performances that rocked, would be the overnight captains ball games. Played like 8-9 matches at least throughout the night. Surprisingly I didn't feel like a walking zombie at 5am in the morning, after 4 hours of captains ball.

Have to thank god that I grew up in renewal, or else I would have never been able to feel that sense of family warmth, that I experienced throughout the 3 days. It's hard to put in words.

Well, my head is still heavy. May write more later.

Now Listening to: You and me
By: Lifehouse

2005-06-04T22:33:00.000+08:00

Arrh.

I just found out that the date of my confirmation clashes with the last day of my judo camp!!

But phew. Break camp at 5. Still some time to rush to my confirmation ceremony at 7 plus.

Whole family's going to be there. Signals the coming of age, the age where i'm sensible enough to make my own decisions. I'll be a man after June 24th... haha, sounds so cliche.

I think i'm ready to confirm my faith in Jesus Christ. I've never felt more definite that He is the one true God, the God in my life. Yep. So now is really a good time to confirm it, to tell everyone that He's the one I chose. Not what my parents, or relatives set out for me to believe.

Bought a Hillsong United cd today. Wanted to try out a different kind of worship music. Definitely something different from what I usually hear. Modern rock style. Maybe I'm too used to the adult Hillsong, Michael W Smith and the Don Moens type of music, the more traditional style, thats why I didn't really 'feel' the album as I did with the others. Well, so long as God likes it, I'm okay.

Now Listening to: Deeper
By: Hillsong United

2005-06-02T21:56:00.000+08:00

Back from a judo camp, was really fun, as well as tough. In the sense that the training was really tough, and the meals and 'relac' times were really fun. One of the more 'conscious' camps that I've attended, unlike the others where everything blazes past me in a blur. Got to know my seniors more, and they're really a crazy batch of JCs students. There are bears, monkeys, dogs, rats, hippos, and giraffes. All shapes and sizes.

The first day was really tough, but luckily received lots of 'encouragement' from my friends that energized me to go on for another two.

I expect that the next one will be twice as tough.

Went shopping today, sort of. Took a bus to junction 8, sembawang music. Went looking for Steve Tyrile(sp) and/or Jack Johnson, but to no avail. Looks like I can't rely on sembawang for more exotic and different albums. But, still a good source for jay chous, 50 cents, mcflys and whatnot. Will probably look at HMV or somewhere else.

Its really a different feeling shopping alone. Freedom to go where I want, whenever I want. The feeling of being invisible walking through the crowds. Rocks.

Don't know what to do tomorrow. Nothing seems decided.

Now Listening to: Sweet silence

2005-05-29T23:10:00.000+08:00

Had a great time serving as a bassist in the adult service today. Wonderful feeling as I just shut my eyes and just flowed with the music, worshipping along. The first time I really 'let go' of myself when I serve, and it was really great. Closing my eyes, 'feeling' the music as I played.

What I did might not be perfect at all. I had doubts whether I was being too loud, too soft, too fast, too slow. In the eyes of man it may just be filled with imperfections, but in the eyes of the lord it is as good as it gets.

In the end all that matters is that I got closer to God throughout this experience.

Going for a 3-day judo camp from hell tomorrow.

I will survive!

Now Listening to: Never Know
By: Jack Johnson

2005-05-24T20:52:00.000+08:00

Had a terrible night yesterday. Think I injured my left shoulder, and woke up to excruciating pain on my left shoulder and left back 1am in the morning. Took some panadol, but to no effect.

Kept awake due to the pain, and my mom also woke up. Luckily we have a hot water bag, and I applied it to my shoulder to try and allieviate the pain.

Prayed a silent prayer in desperation at that moment, that God would take away all the pain. And I think he heard my prayers as i was finally able to sleep at 4 plus 5am. Woke up at arnd 7, again from the pain.

Sinseh did some suction thingy on my back, says it's to improve recovery, kinda works. Going back to school tomorrow. Thanks, God.

Now my only hope is that it will not affect me during the camp. Cannot lag behind anymore.

Now Listening to: Next year, baby
By: Jamie Cullum

2005-05-23T23:07:00.000+08:00

2005-05-22T22:32:00.000+08:00

Hurhur. Rise tomorrow, Lord Vader!

Had great fun today, playing bass and performing a skit for the sunday school. Really confirmed my love for the instrument. Gonna go ahead to get my yamaha rbx374, probably soon.

Also realised that getting a solid bass amp is much more important than getting a top end bass guitar itself. There is just so big a difference when using a good amp and a poor amp. My understanding is that a good amp can make an average bass sound good, but nothing will ever sound good on a lousy amp, which i think is pretty logical. Haha.

Love da tang's Roland, absolutely delicious to play with.

Flooded with priorities, Maths, Core, CL test. Arr.

Now Listening to: Let Me Go
By: 3 Doors Down

2005-05-21T23:11:00.000+08:00

Worship service today was good(when isn't worship good?)...

Made some minor mistakes here and there, and the bass solo, although fun, was really petrifying. May seem easy but never is.

I think God really spoke to me during cell group, when we were talking about servant-like thinking, how to think of ourselves less, and of others more, and the essence of serving: humility. He's reminding me that its not about the music, its not about the sermon, its not about whether you perform better or worse than others. It's about Him. Like what Michael W Smith once sang:

I'm coming back to the heart of worship
and its all about You
its all about You, Jesus

Yup. It's all about the God above.

Anyway, attended 20 mins of drum lessons with joshua... interesting lesson. I think learning music is not just about hitting every 16th note with lightning accuracy, or that 200bpm solo. It's also about communication through the music, how you speak to the congregation through your music. Not only there is a technical aspect, but there is also a theoratical and philosophical aspect, like what to play and what not to play in a given situation. Because you may possess all the required skills, but how do you apply the skills given to you in effectively bring out the song?

Hmm. Can't wait for bass lessons to resume.

2005-05-16T22:48:00.000+08:00

Arrgh just woke up from a nap. Yep. A nap from 2045 to 2245. Seems like I missed out most of my night activities which includes:

1) Erm...

Yep thats about it. Its not a long list. Probably because I have long successfully removed my addiction towards computer games, and I no longer need to receive a dosage of CS every 5 hours 4 times daily to survive. haha. I don't think I even know what I usually do at night.

I just spend it off doing something. There's always something to do.

Yeah... If I really don't have anything to do, I can always blog. =)

Anyway, felt abit angry after reading some stuff and hearing some stuff about tcc... Maybe secrets should always remain as what the word meant it to be. Something that nobody else will ever know. You don't have to be a genius to figure out that even the slip of a tongue or just a passing reference could result in very awkward and embarrassing situations. And I'm not sure if I'm entitled to be angry. It doesn't concern me much at all. Maybe I feel for my brother, maybe I'm just unhappy about what happened. Either way, I wont be inclined to go to tcc again, if thats the only thing we are ever going to do there.

Will pray for my brother.

Lord please give me peace.

Now Listening to: Be like that
By: 3 Doors Down

2005-05-14T23:12:00.002+08:00

Had a jam-packed day. Training in the morning till noon, then rush to church, and then finally to Taman Jurong CC to perform judo for our minister of education. Shook hands with Tharman (sp?), and my goodness, he has rEAlly big palms... haha.

Even though I was constantly busy and kept occupied, I think today is nothing as compared to two weeks from now, which would be the judo camp. Expect it to be tough. If it isn't, I will make it tough for myself. Time to round up ten years of dominance.

Was reminded about how open blogging can be today; Anyone can come online and read your diary, without leaving a trace. Even people whom you don't expect to read your blog may have read it in one way or another.

So it reminded me about the irony of the phrase "online diary". Essentially, it contradicts itself. When something is online, anyone can see it, everyone knows this fact. And a diary is something meant to be personal, something that nobody else should ever chance upon. So what does an online diary really mean? What do people hope to achieve through blogging? What do I hope to achieve through this blog?

Do I write out my secrets here? Obviously not.

So, what am I doing here if im not here to pen down my deepest and darkest thoughts?

Maybe I'll find an answer soon.

Now Listening to: thunder

2005-05-11T22:55:00.000+08:00

Half-way through an incredibly boring week. Still have half more to go. Only motivation is the weekend that promises to be interesting... Judo performance and discipleship with Jack back. Haha. Jack's back from the outback.

Anyway.

I am incredibly bored right now. I wish something would change what I will be doing for tomorrow. Morning to noon, attend sleep-inducing sabbatical. Noon to Night, slack at home, with nothing to do, watch, or play with. Suddenly exams somehow seem appealing to me. I even bought 8 Days magazine to read. Can you imagine my boredom!!?!?!

Even the jam session we planned about 10 years ago was cancelled due to a lousy response from the people, thus adding to my misery.

Oh well. I guess thats the side effect of living a slack life; Too much time on your hands.

2005-05-10T20:48:00.000+08:00

Somewhat incoherent thoughts, but just wanted to write it down.

Just went to read my sister's blog, realised that indeed she has grown over the past few years, and has really become someone who loves God, though her tambourine experience and her exam period. I think it's really by God's grace that I am able to see many changes in the people around me, as well as in myself.

I remember in the past when we first came up to youth, it was like an "ai mai ai mai" kind of thing. We didn't really feel that "zeal" that was found in loving and serving God, at least for me, that is. We didn't attend cell on a regular basis. To be honest, it was pathetic. But I think something that really strikes me is that when I look at us now, we are miles away from the past. Probably because we have matured over the years, and I see a renewed faith and zest in the Lord's work amongst the guys. Most of us are now actively serving the church without being compelled to, but because we want to. It's amazing, really. Because the change from a few years back till now has been phenomenal. Recently, my mentor also shared with us how we were like in the past. Makes me wanna thank God for how we have progressed.

God really helped us through our mentor who put alot of faith in us, and I think its something I won't forget.

That's what our youth is all about.

That's what renewal is all about.

Now Listening to: Sunday Morning
By: Maroon 5

2005-05-06T23:07:00.000+08:00

My life is incomplete without a bass guitar... argh. Going yamaha today at PS really stroked the flames of my desire(lol) to get a bass.

Really, I cannot stand it anymore. I want it right here right now!

Sabbatical week. Time for me to get back on track for my studies. Take a breather. And go jamming with the guys. Maybe on thursday, if they want to and I'll have shift weights to tuesday.

Been thinking alot these few days. About some stuff.

But I think I really can't afford to keep thinking and dreaming of what is five, ten years away from now. Have to focus on my life NOW. No point 'obsess-ing' about issues so far ahead.

Now Listening to: Metalingus
By: Alter Bridge

2005-05-03T23:03:00.000+08:00

Feeling very moody right now. I don't know why. Don't feel like talking to anybody. Kept thinking about the conversations I had yesterday.

Is it too early to make decisions?
Is it really what I want?
Is it just part of an impossible dream?
Will I regret it years down the road when I look back?

Questions, Questions.

I need to stop thinking about it. Yet I cannot.

passion

2005-05-02T23:35:00.000+08:00

I've been thinking... of where I will be ten years from now. Seems to me that I have no idea where I want to go from JC. What to study. What to prepare myself to work as.

Sciences? Blank. Humanities? Blank. Haven't made up my mind on anything at all.

However, today at Sentosa, I had a good talk with huiyi, huilin's elder sister, about studies... and then about ambitions. I said I have no interests in sciences and humanities, since my results in them are at best average.

Learnt from her that one shouldn't let his grades dictate what he does, what matters most is what he really wants. She mentioned Joshua, who quit his job after two years to teach drumming full-time, as he really hated the first job. So what if the income may not be steady? As long as he loves it, and is doing something the God is pleased with, God will provide for him.

I have that same feeling. I feel that I wanna study music. If my disappointment when I heard that I cannot study music next year in JC is any indication, I think it is clear that my passion lies in music. After the chat with huiyi and Joshua, I am all the more inclined to really give it a try. The only obstacle would be the need to sustain a livelihood of my family, since financial security may be an issue.

Its funny how when it was the first time I really sat down and talked to them, and yet I learnt so many things from them just from their life stories. yep.

Next stop, Berkley School of Music? I don't know. Really.

Will seek an answer.

"When you have passion in your job, you don't have to work anymore." - huiyi

Now Listening to: Smile like you mean it
By: The killers

2005-05-01T23:48:00.000+08:00

1st of Jan and 1st of May. Two dates I will never forget. Haha.

Had a wonderful day. Church service was fun, because the speaker from another church gave an engaging sermon and really kept us interested about it, about missions. After that we discussed for about 20 mins(getting more and more like girls...) for our lunch arrangement. In the end we decided to eat at block 3 (again).

Went to the coffee connoisseur in Clark Quay. Slacked around for 4 hours with a cup of 5.90 latte mocha. Talked alot of cock and crap. Learnt many things and stuff I never knew about my brothers today, but will keep the information to myself... heh. All I can say is that it certainly brought us closer together =)

In the end went to eat swensens with the other brothers. Superb fish and chips, and baked rice. Was then treated to an Earthquake. woops.

Shagged now. Still have to go sentosa tomorrow. In about 9 hours time. woops.

2005-04-27T21:47:00.000+08:00

I love bass. Finding it much more interesting than guitar. I find that it encompasses a good combination of rythmn and melody, which is something that I really want.

How the bass plays really affects the mood, the atmosphere of the song, and it's that creativity it permits that attracts me. Not like the guitar, or drums, who have less control over such things, and much less to work with. Who cares about the solos? Its the solid bass groove and rythmn that people dance to anyway... haha.

Anyway.

Looking forward to having more bass lessons with pinjun, although we haven't had it since feb or march. Just so much to learn. Haven't done my finger PT for a long time. Will try to incoporate it into my school life. Will be serving in may, in the adult service, which is something that I didn't expect. Kinda felt apprehensive about it first, but it's a joy to serve the Lord, so I did not give up this chance. I believe He will help me.

On a sidenote, I am determined to get my own bass guitar. How am I going to play well if I don't have one to practice with? My standards aren't very high, just something solid, and durable. Doesn't have to be 5 or 6 string, just something that is... for lack of a better word... 'steady'. Haha.

Sigh, back to studying for Chinese Test. Actually there isn't much difference between midyears and our common test, but you feel better telling yourself that there's no "official" mid-year paper in May. Thats our school. Sigh.

2005-04-26T20:41:00.000+08:00

I hate my calculator. Its battery is dead since I left it on for the whole holidays.

Now it runs solely on solar power, since I'm too lazy to change the calculator batteries.

Meaning that If you cover the solar thingy at the top, the calculator goes off.

The worst thing is if I want to do maths at night, I'll have to switch on an extra lamp to "feed" the calculator light. And when I have to calculate I will need to do it directly under the lamp.

I hate my calculator.

2005-04-25T22:35:00.000+08:00

Totally flunked my maths test. Seems to be no doubt that I will fail this test miserably and get B or even C for maths this term. Scored 95% for a previous test, so thought that I could afford to score a little bit less for this one. Maybe I was a little complacent, so I didn't really put in much effort in the maths revision, focusing instead more on my Lit. In a sense, I gave up maths to score for shakespeare. And the situation tells me that the Lit will be easier than maths, and I will have scored reasonably well if I studied for maths more than lit.

Instead I went and did the opposite. Now I only have my literature test as a possible source of consolation for my disasterous maths screw-up. Hope I score well tomorrow.

Lesson learnt: Never underestimate your problems ahead of you, even if you have a safety net under you. Treat obstacles like you would treat every exam. Seriously.

Seriously considering getting a bass guitar. Hopefully something around a low end 0.5K one. Yep. 500-600 for a good low end or a lousy middle range bass. Will look around for possible targets next sunday.

Now Listening to: Smooth
By: Santana feat. Rob Thomas

2005-04-21T21:05:00.000+08:00

Currently 70% done with my revision of tomorrow's test. 10% on reversible reactions, and 20% of practice questions. Going to start in five minutes. Shouldn't take too long.

Felt really sad about my class today. It's in turmoil.

Discipline problems(if there was any discipline at all), attitude against teachers, lousy cleaniness. Zero situational literacy, and only a minimal level of responsibility. When the teachers zero in on the noisy ones, they start criticising the monitor, blah blah, trying to push the blame to the monitor who was supposedly "biased" against them. I mean if you really were that obedient, nobody would have been able to pinpoint you right? Who cares if other people joined in? What he's talking about is you. Did you do it? Anyway, it really is the worst period our class has gone through. It is starting to dawn upon me that there's no such thing as self-discipline in our class. We always need some form of "punishment" or consequence behind anything for people NOT to do it.

Nobody does anything just because "its right".
Its always because "if you don't... something will happen to you".

Why can't people behave appropriately when the situation calls for it?

God teach me to be patient!

Now Listening to: Can't stop now
By: Keane

2005-04-19T23:12:00.000+08:00

Feeling nervous whenever I think of leading sunday school worship. Which is all the time.

Lord give me strength, and courage to comeplete what I have set out to do.

Stress from school, stress from church, stress from judo. Its driving me nuts.

Lord give me strength!!!

Now Listening to: Talk
By: Coldplay

2005-04-18T23:17:00.000+08:00

Feeling frustrated right now. I wish everyday were spent with my church friends.

I guess as you grow up you gradually realise that its such a wonderful thing being able to worship and grow together.

Somehow or rather I don't feel that sense of closeness to my school mates like when I'm with my church friends, even though I spend 5/7 of my week with them. I find that my peers are too preoccupied with having fun, and its hard to strike up a serious conversation because you've been talking only cock with them for 3 1/2 years. In a culture where people are constantly joking around, its hard to show your true self, the sad, angry, disappointed, reflective self. I feel like I'm constantly wearing a mask to fit in to the accepted "behaviour" of an average-sec4-student-from-4K guy.

That's why I long to be with my church friends. Where I can be my real self. Or at least where its easier to.

I hate being in school, although I love my school.

I daydream of a time when there's no study, no work. A time when we just spend the rest of our time glorifying the Lord's name, worshipping and learning about him. And we wouldn't have to care about the bare necessities, like food and money and studies. Just focusing on Him. Everyday would be Sunday and we would all gather in praise and worship.

Kinda sounds like heaven, come to think of it.

But its time to get back to earth.

And study physics.

Now Listening to: Let it Rain
By: Keri Noble

2005-04-15T23:13:00.000+08:00

Mind's preoccupied with stuff.

What seemed distant is now right at my doorstep.

It's not a bad thing, but the anxiety can still be felt.

One week is all I have, and I will make full use of it.

Time to get out of my boat. sampan. kayak.

Now Listening to: Father's son
By: 3 Doors Down

2005-04-13T23:20:00.000+08:00

Hooked onto 3 Doors Down.
Hate my maths hw. 6 grand qns. 17 sub qns. woo. Feeling Cheated now. 19 qns in all and have to copy about 6 50-word questions.

Looking forward to worship practice tomorrow evening.
Even though I wont have time to study for Chinese Ting Xie.

Serving the Lord's far more important than ting xie. Yep.

Priorities, Priorities

Now Listening to: Let Me Go

2005-04-11T18:42:00.000+08:00

Had a really fun weekend, with the main focus being the night cycling from sat night to sunday morning. Didn't wanna join it initially, but i thought 'it isn't really that often i get to go night clycling', so I just joined in. Didn't regret.

Our route took us from East Coast to esplanade, then to Chinatown, which was like a few hour's ride. Okay. Not too bad. This being my third time actually riding a bike, I was riding quite well imo. Despite me riding reasonably well, there were still numerous situations that I just couldn't control my bike well enough.

It was really a fun experience, singing church songs along the way, talking crap and whatnot. Discovered that the kopitiam at maxwell is being frequented by guys who are less "straight". Haha. Oh well, so long as the food there is good it doesn't matter. cong1 you2 bing3 rocks.

The return trip was abit less "crappy" and more manageble in terms of me riding a bike. Finally got down my initial acceleration, and get to look less like a clown. lol. Less crappy in the sense that we were generally more tired and just focused on the actual riding than anything else.

Its an amazing feeling when you're cycling along a long and quiet road, and you look up to the stars, to the trees, with the wind blowing against your face. Its all His creation. Sometimes we just rush past these amazing things that He has created, not noticing them at all. Im glad I spent that night appreciating it all.

Only thing that marred the happy return trip was a pair of teens, about 17-19 years old. Just playing a fool along the bike pavement. One pushed the other right into the path of Sihui, knocking her right off the bike. Luckily she didn't get hurt, but the bike was spoilt. Was kinda pissed at them but didn't say anything. If I were the one being knocked off I would've demanded an apology from them. Fool around if you must, but don't jeapordise the safety of others. Oh well.

Watched sunrise, which took a horribly long time. Waited for thirty minutes or so. Should've read the newspaper for the sunrise time. The wait was worth it though. Really nice, orange.. thing just came out of the clouds(not the sea). Discovered a new sleep-deprived wenqi at that was quiet, serious and "manly". Heh. Should deprive him of sleep a little more.

Fun day/night/morning.

Now Listening to: The Real Life
By: 3 Doors Down

2005-04-03T20:11:00.000+08:00

It's been a hectic week. MRP, chinese test, blah blah.

However the highlight of the week would be the age-group judo competition today. Did pretty well in my own opinion, even when I merely won a bronze medal. Faced-off carl in the semi-finals today, and lost by a small yuko. Not too bad... Velden's really improved in his throw, which is quick and deadly. Haha.

All in all we reaped a total of 9 golds in 12 categories (not too sure about C div), which is remarkable in its own right. I think we are on the right track and just have to keep up with this pace and work with the end in mind. There will be no regrets come july.

Sometimes during training I am reminded of the idea that one should aim to glorify the Lord in everything he does, and I wonder, how does participating in judo activity achieve that? Just a stray thought.

Off to mug for Maths test(dydx and bearings).

Now Listening to: Here without you
By: 3 Doors Down

2005-03-27T00:01:00.000+08:00

My dad plays tekken 5 more than I do.

He played from 8 till 10++ tonight.

Woo.

2005-03-17T23:25:00.000+08:00

ISFJ-The Protector
Your Type is 0% Extroverted, 75% Observant, 6% Logical and 75% Structured

The protector type is called such because you feel your life is best used to protect those you love from the pitfalls of life, to see to their safety and security. You belong to the larger group called guardians. You find great satisfaction in assisting the downtrodden. You are not talkative with strangers, but you can chat tirelessly with those you trust. You have a good solid work ethic. You are thorough and very likely frugal. You do not like to be in a place of authority, and will delegate poorly if forced into a lead position. You share your type with 10% of the population.

As a romantic partner, you are generous and gentle. Occasionally you may be taken for granted because of this fact. You are tireless in providing acts of service for your loved ones. You run the risk of always being exhausted because you won't say no to your partner. You are sensitive to criticism and will withdraw rather than fight back. You wish to be appreciated for your loyalty and whole hearted nuturing. Your values must be respected and you thrive on consideration and kindness.

============================================

Quite true for me.

2005-03-17T22:34:00.000+08:00

Ate prawns with Katong Laksa today. Now feeling itchy all over. Strange growth on my elbow. Should not eat anymore prawns from today onwards.

Totally shagged after 4 hours of lan. Felt like dying after the session, when the adrenaline starts to wear off. Didn't even follow the guys to watch ppl play play basketball. Went straight home. Slept for 2 hours.

Pretty much a mindless day. Didn't have enlightenment about global politics or economical impact of natural disasters.

Seem to have stunted growth learning guitar. I can fret most chords perfectly. I can strum most of the church songs without much problem. Now I need to find something else to learn besides mastering chord changes. I don't want to go in to electric guitar, picking, power chords, that kind of stuff. Maybe i'll learn more finger picking styles, or some nice acoustic songs like "more than words". Just seems so slow. No longer in that short period where i learn a whole lot of stuff as compared to in November.

Now Listening to: Lyin' Eyes
By: The Eagles

2005-03-13T21:28:00.000+08:00

Haven't really blogged much lately, probably due to my hectic training schedule. Really been working hard to make up for the lost time and lost fitness during my last sickness, which is like, 2-3 weeks ago. And just when I'm starting to catch up with the intense training, I get a swollen foot, meaning maybe another 2-3 trainings gone.

Its just like life. You never know when the next bad thing will hit you. There may be moments of peace, and then in a blink of an eye, everything starts to plunge downwards. Suddenly everything is going wrong for you. When you haven't even gotten up from the ground, you fall flat on the ground again.

Just when RuiZhi is gradually recovering, the illness of their parents worsen. That's life.

But if there's anything that I learnt during the week, it is that no matter how down in the dumps one may be, God will always be with him. He is, after all, creator of the universe. Like what my friend jack says, God is in control. That is why we must be strong.

We must continue to hold the belief that everything that God allows to happen, happens for a reason. We need not understand. All we need is that faith in him.

"Whenever we cannot comprehend, all the more we must believe that God's love is at work." -weiliang

2005-03-09T21:07:00.000+08:00

Thinking back on the title of the recent church CD, "journey of faith", I cannot help but think that right here, right now, we are truly embarking on such a journey. Currently, our faith is being tested, and yet concurrently it is also being strengthened. Our pastor's son is now suffering from dengue fever, and is in a very critical condition. PinJun's mum is hospitalised because of heartache. Somebody I'm thinking of is also going through all this, but I'll respect his/her privacy by not posting who he/she is.

I think it is in times like this when we grow in faith, as a church, as brothers and sisters in chirst, as individuals. We learn to trust in the lord. Even when we cannot see, God will lead us.

Illness and sicknesses may plague us, but our faith in the Lord will not falter.

Amen?

Now Listening to: Daughters
By: John Mayer

2005-03-04T22:10:00.000+08:00

It feels like I'm constantly trying to catch up with time these days. There's simply too little time to think; There will always be something that is due, or that needs attention, that prevents me from doing what I really want. Its not totally because of judo. Its just this period when everything seems to whiz past you and its all a blur.

Many things done, yet nothing memorable. It gets tiring, really.

I want to stop and look at the other side of the world, as my friend puts it. The side without all the fooling around, the lame jokes and the crapping around my friends. Sometimes I ask myself: "Is there anything else that holds my friendships together besides that?"

If you take all the jokes and crap away, what is left? What really holds us together?

Up to this day, I'm still searching for an answer...

2005-02-28T22:02:00.000+08:00

I get the feeling that almost everyone around my age has gone through or is going through some kind of problems, so much so that it affects their emotions, their work, etc. I just don't understand why there is a general sense of "indifference" in me towards the problems of others and myself.

I don't feel overly sympethetic to sad and troubled friends. I don't feel immense joy at my own successes. I don't feel burning anger because injustice is displayed in one way or another. I don't show much friendliness towards others except for those that I am close to. I don't have the urge to try and mediate conflicts between two individuals. I feel I am always going: "Oh... really?" and then I go "Oh.. okay."

Deep down, I understand the feelings of those people who feel sad or angry or whatever.

I want to help. I really care.

But sometimes its a thin line that seperates caring from being nosey. I don't want others to feel that I'm just being "ba1 gua4". I don't want others to think that I'm just rubbing it into their wound when they're feeling depressed.

In the end, I just appear to be indifferent. Like I don't care.

Now Listening to: Scar Tissue
By: RHCP

2005-02-26T23:18:00.000+08:00

Too many thoughts to blog about.

Too little time.

Competition tomorrow.

Headache from fatigue.

Sleep important.

Now Listening to: Nothing

2005-02-23T21:33:00.000+08:00

Haven't been able to blog regularly... because I'm busy. Been sleeping at around 11++ everyday for 1 week straight, which is something I don't normally do.

Many things happened during these past few days that I didn't blog, things that taught me lessons.

I felt angry about things. I was pissed. Pissed about somethings things that people say. But God made me understand that everytime I feel angry about something, it is yet another time that I learn to forgive. Sometimes you just have to take things in your stride, and get on with life. I can't afford to be pissed forever. Not sure why but I felt angry at alot of things this week. Phew.

Sometimes you don't know a person until you need help from him. A few days ago, I needed my comprehension paper from class, but it was already 4pm and the classes were locked. Just when I thought I was done for, I saw Song Jun. I needed a copy of the compre paper so I approached him, thinking that although there was not much hope, I had to try. Instead of saying he's busy or blahblah, he offered to follow me to the library to photocopy the paper, and use his photocopy card. Was abit shocked at his willingnes to help me.

It may not seem much, but not everyone would have responded the way he did. He was on his way home, and it was late. He could have tried to talk me out of getting his paper to photocopy, since he would have to wait for me. Yet he did the opposite of what I expected of him.

I thought to myself: Actually, he's not so lazy and unhelpful as he seems.

Many people make fun of him, insult him and his lame jokes, but I don't think many realise that he's actually a much better friend than many of us claim to be. I imagined some other people in the same situation as Song Jun, any I don't think many would have done the same thing.

Ask yourself, are you willing to go out of your way, and your convinience, to help whom you consider as your friend?

2005-02-17T22:37:00.000+08:00

I am really pissed right now. Nothing seems to be going right for me now.

The browser just wiped out a long post that I had been writing. Funny how it seems that when you have nothing to blog about, everything is alright. But when start to think deeper, and write anything that actually means something to you, it just vanishes in a blink...

Heard alot of stuff regarding leadership today. What it requires, what it demands from an individual when he's a leader. I was rather overwhelmed, for lack of a better word, as it just dawned upon me that being a leader is totally different from effective leadership. I realise that its not that easy being an effective leader, to be able to coordinate the actions of people who are thinking on totally frequencies, much less get anything done as a group.

Sometimes I find myself being the more task-oriented amongst my peers. I feel that I like to settle down on an issue, quickly decide everything, and just get on with it. I don't like to focus on the nitty gritty details and dilly-dally all day. That is why I may seem to appear as being kan cheong when it comes to getting stuff done.

I tried to sit back, just relax, and let other people hassle over the decision making, and I'll just follow. But then I'll worry whether anything will even materialise. I don't even think I'm leadership material, and yet I want to get things done. And then I get pissed when too much time is spent on decision making.Its this dilemma I often face, and I have trouble expressing it to anyone.

Just need to let it off somehow.

Lord. Let me have peace. Shalom.

Now Listening to: A Rush of Blood to the Head
By: Coldplay

2005-02-13T22:12:00.000+08:00

Having diarrhea for the past 2 days. Constant muscle cramps, frequent toilet visits.

Affected my mood for the whole day.

The medicine isn't really working wonders.

And I have to study for 4 tests on tuesday and wednesday.

When all the while I can be outside watching Man U vs Man City, but I know I can't.

Just a quick blog to relieve some stress.

Now Listening to: Nothing

2005-02-11T20:42:00.000+08:00

From dunno who:

"hmm... went to jp wit vivian to buy the present... ahhaha... me but too... hahah... hmm... well.. after tat went to swim... ahhaha.. swim about five plus then went to kopitiam and eat... hahahah... hmm... then went to ah ma hse... ahhaha... after a while jiu go home le... hmm.. then saw victor and guo long or guang long??... hahaha... i heard dunno got wat long wan de... ahhaha... then at there tok tok... hahah... they veri funni wan de lehz.... ahhaha... hmm... then jiu while walking home.. jiu saw siripong... hahha... long time no c everyone le... ahhaha... he change haircut... ahhha... not bad sia... ahhaha... hmm.. then jiu reach home le lorz... ahhaha... nothing to say... tat's all for todae... ahahha... bye..."

hahaha. ahhaha. hmm. hahaha.

Now Listening to: You don't know me
By: Michael Buble

2005-02-09T22:42:00.000+08:00

Had a whole lot of time these few days.

Time to do more stuff.

Time to think about stuff.
Stuff that I don't normally spend time to think over.

Some of my friends are having problems over it. It seems to plague their thoughts.

Is it really that indispensable in our life?

Is it?

Now Listening to: Home
By: Michael Buble

2005-02-07T23:10:00.000+08:00

Some Quotations.

Anger makes you smaller, while forgiveness forces you to grow beyond what you were.

Assert your right to make a few mistakes. If people can't accept your imperfections, that's their fault.

Friendship makes prosperity more shining and lessens adversity by dividing and sharing it.

Sometimes the light at the end of a tunnel is an oncoming train.

Nobody talks so constantly about God as those who insist that there is no God.

Now Listening to: Some silly Jap song
By: A japanese.

2005-02-06T22:31:00.000+08:00

Secrets are like sand. The more you pour to other places the more some will spill out onto the floor. And no matter how you try sweep it away, some sand will still be on the floor. Some people around me are pouring sand around. I'm not. Does that make me any different?

No idea.

Uggh. I think i just made a rather bad analogy.

Anyway.

Kinda busy these few days. One hectic week. But the weekend really took the problems away. Thank God for giving me such good friends. Wanna blog more but homework calls.

Now Listening to: Vertigo
By: U2

2005-01-30T22:17:00.000+08:00

Played guitar for sunday school today, felt really great serving Him. Have to thank god for guiding everyone, including me, during the many rehersals and the actual worship itself.

Everyone did their best, and i thought we did a good job.

Seemed to have sprained my middle finger during training on friday, luckily didn't affect me much.

Wanted to, as De ren puts it, "release myself" while playing guitar... but maybe because I'm not good enough or sumthing, I played the wrong chord seconds soon after I closed my eyes.

Well, theres always a next time.

The joys of worship...

Now Listening to: A love that will last.
By: Renee Olstead

2005-01-26T22:36:00.000+08:00

Haven't been blogging lately, simply because life has been rather monotonous lately.

Study, Train, Sleep. Rinse and repeat.

Yawn.

On a lighter note, fought my first judo match in school today, and won against vernon... Quite happy since I have been rather off-form lately, even I myself was surprised by my ko-uchi-grab-leg-newaza move. Hopefully we'll all get better and better. Everyone's making improvement.

Finally gonna settle down on Lit/History slant for my Research paper, with the movie Dr Strangelove as a basis. Yay.

I've been thinking of God more these few months. Closer to him. Hope this never ends.

Now Listening to: The Zephyr Song
By: Red Hot Chili Peppers

2005-01-17T22:30:00.000+08:00

Starting to like maths a little bit more, maybe because of Mr Png. Much better alternative to MSgnoW. At least we get to laugh at the right things during lessons. Wanna get my studies right, aiming for Sub-3 Msg for term one. Hopefully something around 2++.

Not getting my hopes too high, just want to keep this momentum going.

Yep. Life's about momentum. Once you start, you don't stop until you finish it.

Once you stop, you gotta start again. More Effort. That's why I'm not gonna stop now. I'm not letting myself stop till I reach the next checkpoint, that is August, when the nationals end. I'm going to build on my momentum all the way.

Anyway.

Guitar has officially replaced computer games as my past time. It's just hard to resist the urge to just strum around when I have the time. I look back at my past 2 months learning guitar; Those painful fingers, those sore hands, and I tell myself it's worth it.

My friends may not understand my obsession with guitar, but that can't be helped.

Neither can I understand other people's obsession with tennis, or chinese pop, or with in-line skating, or playing around with "affairs of the heart". It just can't be help.

But as the Beatles used to sing: Let it be...

Now Listening to: Nothing

2005-01-16T23:02:00.000+08:00

Feeling horrible now. Grr.

Now Listening to: Wind Cries Mary
By: Jamie Cullum

2005-01-12T23:09:00.000+08:00

Completed my first homework that isn't last-minute!! A sense of satisfaction fills my body at this very moment. Trying to regain my homework-doing-momentum in p6. That is to chiong finish the homework asap and enjoy myself. Given the workload, I will have to chiong harder, faster and more efficiently. That means foregoing recess when I'm not hungry to chiong. One of my new year resolutions is to do less last minute work, since IP is about a different sec 4 life.

This is going to be a tough year but I will SURVIVE.

Now Listening to: I will survive
By: Cake

2005-01-11T22:53:00.000+08:00

I seriously need to find something else to do besides doing homework, playing (bass) guitar, and going online.

Arrh.

Now Listening to: Speed Metal Symphony
By: Steve Vai

2005-01-10T21:12:00.000+08:00

Sometimes I just want to find another place, another country to just escape to. I am starting to be bored at what I'm going through, tough training at such a consistent pace, school work is flooding in. I am searching for that "fresh" feeling and eagerness to my life this year, something that I had alot of during sec 1.

Maybe because I am doing what I have been doing for three whole years. It will get boring at one point in time or another. I just need something to freshen me up, or, take me away.

Now Listening to: Fly me to the moon
By: Frank Sinatra

2005-01-07T23:09:00.000+08:00

School life and tough judo training has been made bearable since I got PinJun's bass guitar. I'm gonna make full use of this bass guitar until Feb, when I have to hand it over to Junwei...

Practicing hard with it.

Gonna have another lesson tomorrow after cell, dunno what we're gonna learn.

Finding it hard to keep glued to my computer... it's become boring.

I don't feel the lure of computer games anymore.

Getting old? Maybe its just the long pants... heh.

Now Listening to: People just like us
By: Hillsongs

Tsunami

2005-01-03T20:55:00.000+08:00

All around me are familiar faces, worn out places, worn out faces
Bright and early for the daily races
Going nowhere, going nowhere
The tears are filling up their glasses
No expression, no expression
Hide my head I want to drown my sorrow
No tomorrow, no tomorrow

And I find it kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you
I find it hard to take
When people run in circles its a very very
Mad World
Mad World

Children waiting for the day they feel good
Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday
And they feel the way that every child should
Sit and listen
Sit and listen
Went to school and I was very nervous
No one knew me
No one knew me
Hello teacher tell me whats my lesson
Look right through me
Look right through me

And I find it kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you
I find it hard to take
When people run in circles its a very very
Mad World
Mad World

Was on a bus travelling with the youths towards suntec city, when I happened to see the devastation done by the tsunami on a documentary. I knew how bad the situation was; the statistics didn't lie. It just struck me that, hey, this isn't just some silly tsunami that you study in textbooks; It is as real as it gets. Lives are literally torn apart.

To those struggling in the flood, all they could think of was the safety of their family, and that they were going to die. I felt alot of these feeligns when I heard the song you are listening to right now. Its really a sad and solemn piece of music.

The tears are filling up their glasses
No expression, no expression
Hide my head I want to drown my sorrow
No tomorrow, no tomorrow

Its funny how we always work for fame fortune wealth and power; Yet we as human beings are so fragile. All your acheievments surely will no longer matter the split second before the tsunami sweeps you away.

The tsunami has taught me a personal lesson not to dwell on worldy possessions, and that all that matters is... Him. All I can do now is pray for those victims.

Shalom. Peace.

Now Listening to: Mad World
By: Gary Jules

2005-01-02T01:17:00.000+08:00

Struggling whether to do my chinese homework...

Abit late to start, but should I at least try? Sigh.

Still have a day to do just a tiny morsel.

Now Listening to: Slither
By: Velvet Revolver

Wishlist

2005-01-01T13:11:00.000+08:00

Albums to get for new year
Velvet Revolver - Contraband
U2 - How to dismantle an Atomic Bomb
Red Hot Chilli Peppers - Greatest Hits

Stuff to get for new year
More Shirts
Stationery
Bass guitar
Half-life 2

Update:
Drat.
Esther has already gone ahead of me to get U2.
Went to look for the other 2 albums, struggled abit on which to buy, but finally settled on RHCP. Struggling whether to get the U2 from her or buy.

Borrowing Half-life 2 from Ianrik... Yay. Lending me till his new com arrives.
Bass guitar no where near in sight. Perhaps borrow from Pinjun.
Getting stationery tomorrow.
Shirts not enough, but not that important.

Now Listening to: Universally speaking
By: Red Hot Chilli Peppers

Post-rally

2004-12-26T01:14:00.000+08:00

Its really hard to put in words what I've been going through for the past week.

I feel I've been closer to God than ever before. I found my passion for Him; That I had struggled to find when I just entered youth.

What is my definition of passion?

Passion is when you do something wholeheartedly and feel that it is what you live for.

Passion is when you are oblivious to the opinions of people around you and of what you are doing.

Looking back at the past week I saw passion in the eyes of the renewal youths. the camp, the fellowship, the rehersals, the dedication, the rally.

The feeling is so great that you can only experience it; You can never express it well enough through words.

Now Listening Silently to: We were the reason
Sung By: Renewal Youths

2004-12-23T01:12:00.000+08:00

The previous post was really long, but I felt I just HAD to post it.

It feels good to be worshipping god. After listening to christian songs in the church for 5+ hours, you cannot help but feel that it's something you never get tired of. Even if the songs are still ringing in your head and you want to sleep but you can't since you keep 'hearing' the songs.

Anyway.

Spent the five hours in church doing handicraft with the teens for the youth rally. Although handicraft and origami are not a man's job, we still managed to do a rather good job. Heh. Worked like slaves. But still God's "slaves".

Anyone whom I have been hanging out with would know that I'm learning to play the bass guitar in church to serve. It's really great, I'm excited, don't get me wrong. But lessons have been going at a snail's pace; I'm starting to wonder if I'll ever be good enough to serve in Feb. I don't think it's good enough to just practice on the EADG strings on a folk guitar, I need experience.

On the other hand, when I'm progressing with my guitar playing pretty quickly, starting on barre chords after 2 months to me is really good. I feel that I also want to serve with the guitar. That's where the problem lies. The bassists look to me and junwei to play the bass in the future. My cell mates look to us to play the bass too. But I'm just not learning fast enough. The pressure is creeping in. I'm finding that playing the guitar is more feasible. Yet I still want to play the bass.

Rambling in Dillemia. Time to pray.

Over.

Now Listening to: Train
By: Ordinary

Punchinello

2004-12-22T01:46:00.000+08:00

Couldn't sleep. I kept thinking about what enhan said during the second night. Felt I had the duty to share this story with other people, if not I would let myself and God down. Read it carefully and you may find the real meaning behind.

The story of Punchinello

The Wemmicks were small wooden people. Each of the wooden people was carved by a woodworker named Eli. His workshop sat on a hill overlooking their village. Every Wemmick was different. Some had big noses, others had large eyes. Some were tall and others were short. Some wore hats, others wore coats. But all were made by the same carver and all lived in the village.
And all day, every day, the Wemmicks did the same thing: They gave each other stickers. Each Wemmick had a box of golden star stickers and a box of gray dot stickers. Up and down the streets all over the city, people could be seen sticking stars or dots on one another.
The pretty ones, those with smooth wood and fine paint, always got stars. But if the wood was rough or the paint chipped, the Wemmicks gave dots. The talented ones got stars, too. Some could lift big sticks high above their heads or jump over tall boxes. Still others knew big words or could sing very pretty songs. Everyone gave them stars.
Some Wemmicks had stars all over them! Every time they got a star it made them feel so good that they did something else and got another star. Others, though, could do little. They got dots.
Punchinello was one of these. He tried to jump high like the others, but he always fell. And when he fell, the others would gather around and give him dots. Sometimes when he fell, it would scar his wood, so the people would give him more dots. He would try to explain why he fell and say something silly, and the Wemmicks would give him more dots.
After a while he had so many dots that he didn't want to go outside. He was afraid he would do something dumb such as forget his hat or step in the water, and then people would give him another dot. In fact, he had so many gray dots that some people would come up and give him one without reason.
"He deserves lots of dots," the wooden people would agree with one another.
"He's not a good wooden person."
After a while Punchinello believed them. "I'm not a good wemmick," he would say. The few times he went outside, he hung around other Wemmicks who had a lot of dots. He felt better around them.
One day he met a Wemmick who was unlike any he'd ever met. She had no dots or stars. She was just wooden. Her name was Lulia.
It wasn't that people didn't try to give her stickers; it's just that the stickers didn't stick. Some admired Lulia for having no dots, so they would run up and give her a star. But it would fall off. Some would look down on her for having no stars, so they would give her a dot. But it wouldn't stay either.
"That's the way I want to be," thought Punchinello. "I don't want anyone's marks." So he asked the stickerless Wemmick how she did it.
"It's easy," Lulia replied. "every day I go see Eli."
"Eli?"
"Yes, Eli. The woodcarver. I sit in the workshop with him."
"Why?"
"Why don't you find out for yourself? Go up the hill. He's there. "
And with that the Wemmick with no marks turned and skipped away.
"But he won't want to see me!" Punchinello cried out.
Lulia didn't hear. So Punchinello went home. He sat near a window and watched the wooden people as they scurried around giving each other stars and dots.
"It's not right," he muttered to himself. And he resolved to go see Eli.
He walked up the narrow path to the top of the hill and stepped into the big shop. His wooden eyes widened at the size of everything. The stool was as tall as he was. He had to stretch on his tiptoes to see the top of the workbench. A hammer was as long as his arm. Punchinello swallowed hard.
"I'm not staying here!" and he turned to leave. Then he heard his name.
"Punchinello?" The voice was deep and strong.
Punchinello stopped.
"Punchinello! How good to see you. Come and let me have a look at you."
Punchinello turned slowly and looked at the large bearded craftsman.
"You know my name?" the little Wemmick asked.
"Of course I do. I made you."
Eli stooped down and picked him up and set him on the bench. "Hmm, " he spoke thoughtfully as he inspected the gray circles. "Looks like you've been given some bad marks."
"I didn't mean to, Eli. I really tried hard."
"Oh, you don't have to defend yourself to me. I don't care what the other Wemmicks think."
"You don't?"
"No, and you shouldn't either. Who are they to give stars or dots? They're Wemmicks just like you. What they think doesn't matter, Punchinello. All that matters is what I think. And I think you are pretty special."
Punchinello laughed. "Me, special? Why? I can't walk fast. I can't jump. My paint is peeling. Why do I matter to you?"
Eli looked at Punchinello, put his hands on those small wooden shoulders, and spoke very slowly. "Because you're mine. That's why you matter to me."
Punchinello had never had anyone look at him like this--much less his maker. He didn't know what to say.
"Every day I've been hoping you'd come," Eli explained.
"I came because I met someone who had no marks."
"I know. She told me about you."
"Why don't the stickers stay on her?"
"Because she has decided that what I think is more important than what they think. The stickers only stick if you let them."
"What?"
"The stickers only stick if they matter to you. The more you trust my love, the less you care about the stickers."
"I'm not sure I understand."
"You will, but it will take time. You've got a lot of marks. For now, just come to see me every day and let me remind you how much I care."
Eli lifted Punchinello off the bench and set him on the ground.
"Remember," Eli said as the Wemmick walked out the door. "You are special because I made you. And I don't make mistakes."
Punchinello didn't stop, but in his heart he thought, "I think he really means it."
And when he did, a dot fell to the ground.

Who are we all living for? What are we living for?

2004-12-21T23:37:00.000+08:00

Jast came back from church camp. Best camp I've ever attended, because I had a great time with my fellow brothers and sisters in christ. I don't know where to start, since I hate to write a 12413 word "compo" detailing every single detail of the camp. I think I'll just have to write write write.

But I'm damn tired now. Even after 6 hours of afternoon sleep.

Bye.

2004-12-10T20:45:00.000+08:00

Felt horrible during training today, half-sick, half-fatigued. Still managed to pull through. Competition's postponed to 20th of december, wondering if I should join the competition. Wondering if it's too late to do so. Seem to be running out of ideas in my offence, nothing to do besides leg sweep and ippon. I wanna try others, but always forget to when I step into the dojo. I'll keep that in mind. The guys around me seem to be improving, like lrac, while I feel I am stagnant, no matter how hard I try.

I wonder how our guys did against the A boys on the battlefield.

Went with the guys in my cell to jam near aljunied in the noon, was quite a fun activity. Initially I wanted to play the guitar but with my set of limited skills I couldn't play many of them, mostly due to barre chords. So I just played the bass. Major scales mostly. It was the best during the last ten minutes, playing "xian jing bu zai shi wo huo zhe" a few times with the drums and piano. No guitar. lol.

Going to play max payne 2 later. Bored.

Now Listening to: Stairway to heaven live
By: Foo Fighters

2004-12-08T23:32:00.000+08:00

Currently in semi-conscious state. One full day of shanghai shopping, another day of watching 5 consecutive movies, with 2 hours of sleep between the days. The joys of midnight flight.

Now Listening to: Nothing

2004-11-29T10:58:00.000+08:00

Stairway to heaven rocks.

Now Listening to: Stairway to heaven
By: Led Zepplin

2004-11-26T23:59:00.000+08:00

Learnt to play Good Riddance on guitar today. The song's done by Green Day. The green day that were actually good then. Nice song with meaningful lyrics.

Another turning point
A fork stuck in the road
Time grabs you by the wrist
Directs you where to go
So make the best of this test
And don't ask why
It's not a question
But a lesson learned in time

It's something unpredictable
But in the end is right
I hope you had the time of your life

So take the photographs
And still frames in your mind
Hang it on a shelf of
Good health and good time
Tattoos of memories
And dead skin on trial
For what it's worth
It was worth all the while

It's something unpredictable
But in the end is right
I hope you had the time of your life

2004-11-21T23:36:00.000+08:00

"In almost all musical forms, the bass has two important functions to fulfill.

First, the bass defines the chords being played and guides the movement of the music from one chord to another. This role is usually shared with a guitar or a piano.

Second, the bass provides the rhythm of the music being played. This role is usually shared with the drums. Because it links the two functions of rhythm and harmony, the bass is often the instrument around which the rest of the music is organized. "

2004-11-21T14:33:00.000+08:00

Time and time again I look for signs that tell me that Singaporeans are not that superficial, that are not that shallow. However time and time again I get the opposite. Of course I am writing about Sg Idol. I try not to whine too much about the results but this is just something I have to get out somewhere.

Look at Fantasia sing. Look at Ruben sing. Look at Clay Aiken sing. Look at Destiny Tobing sing.

And then look at Sylvester sing.

I feel that he has been riding on his boyish charms, good looks, that silly smile to advance into the finals. Yeah he can sing rock. But then again look at Bon Jovi. Look at Gn'R. Can he compare to them? I have my doubts. Olinda can sing better than him, hit higher notes than him, longer vibrato and is versetile. She can sing Jazz, Rock and roll, Pop, and musicals very well. Sylvester on the other hand either flunked or barely pulled through. So I cannot understand why she went out and he stayed on.

Remember when David Yeo was kicked out by Christopher? Exactly. Who can say without doubt that Christopher sang better than David? Again the packaging came before the substance.

Go, Taufik, Go.

Now Listening to: Mr Jack
By: System of a Down

2004-11-20T23:01:00.000+08:00

I long to spend a night where I can just lie down

listen to some nice music and

just look at the sky.

Alone. Peacefully.

I somehow felt that feeling yesterday, at the playground near my house.

Really nice.

Now Listening to: Shiver
By: Coldplay

2004-11-15T22:13:00.000+08:00

Had my first bass lesson in church on saturday, not too bad. Starting on music theory, stuff like major/minor scale, and some other practical things like how to play, how to position the fingers etc. Really looking forward to the next lesson, even though we already have homework, that is to draw out the 6 major and minor scales that we are learning, which is aLoT.

Anyway, I find that since the holidays started I have more time to do some stuff that I don't usually have time for. My dad just bought a brand new acoustic guitar so for these few days I just played around it whenever I have time. Learning to play chords, that's all. Spent the morning learning to play hotel california by eagles. I didn't feel tired at all... lol

Now Listening to: Hotel California
By: Eagles

2004-11-09T22:34:00.000+08:00

Yay I can bench 70kg six times.

Anyway.

Totally shagged out by today's training. For the first time in 3 years I felt the effects of not sleeping well the night before during today's physical training. Just kena pwned by the juniors. Sorry.

Actually I wanted to write a commentry on y2k's supposed affair with velden's sister, seeing how it has affected "interpersonal relationships and conversational topics" within our sec 3 judo batch (I'm laughing as I write that). But I'm too tired to do that. I'll leave that till tomorrow.

Now Listening to: Bombshell
By: Powerman 5000

2004-11-06T13:40:00.000+08:00

I have this feeling for the whole week that before the holiday started, I had too many things to do, too little time. I longed to sit in front of the computer the whole day and just rot away, or chill out with my teammates.

And when I finally get to do that, somehow it loses its appeal. When I finally get to spend my holiday, doing the things I always wanted seems to become boring. Yeah I know playing video games is fun, but surely there is something more to my two months than that... Suddenly my first bass lesson in church, my first music lesson in 2 years seems so distant, so long away.

Probably will catch some movies (if there are any good ones). I'm decomposing at home.

Now Listening to: Rollover DJ
By: Jet

2004-11-01T22:57:00.000+08:00

Its now 10:53pm, and I think my dad's feeling better. We watched Johnny English with my sis. Although the story was crap but I think if you just watch for the dumb and stupid things then quite okay. Dad feeling weird during the movie, laughing damn hard even though his stomach there was pain. Hopefully tomorrow will be okay.

Now Listening to: Wind Cries Mary
By: Jimi Hendrix

2004-11-01T18:17:00.000+08:00

Just saw my father vomit into our kitchen sink, with my family standing behind him. Quite worried, heard something about his gall bladder having problems... His health has been going up and down, on and off for the past few months. Hope nothing bad comes out of this latest problem...

Now Listening to: Cai3 Hong2
By: Wu yue tian (Mayday)

2004-10-31T13:14:00.000+08:00

The test you've just taken is a short version of the Five Factor model of identity. Among psychology experts, this approach has become broadly accepted for its accuracy and consistency. The five dimensions in this model give a complete description of your personality traits: Openness to Experience, Conscientiousness, Extraversion, Agreeableness and Negative Emotionality. Read below to see your scores and understand what they mean.




less curious	more curious

Openness To Experience

Your medium score in the Openness category means that you are moderately interested in the creative arts. You probably show some real imagination at certain times, or display a strong curiosity towards the new. But these moments are balanced by a more practical focus on the pragmatic concerns and realities of everyday life. Rather than letting your mind wander too far, you prefer to remain relatively focused. These aspects of your personality reflect a character somewhere between a conservative and a dreamer.




less focused	more focused

Conscientiousness

Your high score in the Conscientiousness category means that you feel a strong compulsion towards duty and responsibility. You are probably a very organized person, and pride yourself on your professional competence. Work is a very high priority in your life, and defines your vision of success. You have a careful attitude towards making decisions, and think them through carefully. With such a strong conscience, and a devotion to accomplishment, it's likely that you're considered extremely dependable.




less extraverted	more extraverted

Extraversion

Your medium score in the Extraversion category defines your social identity. You are probably comfortable in either a crowd or by yourself, and spending time alone or with company is equally enjoyable. When among others, you tend to stand in the foreground, although you may not always wish to take the position of a leader. Instead, you seem to prefer moving between the role of leader and follower, as the situation requires. You probably keep a moderately active social life; you're generally on the lookout for excitement, but certainly don't require it. You tend to keep a fairly positive emotional outlook, and people can usually count on your for some good cheer.




less adaptive	more adaptive

Agreeableness

The Agreeableness category refers to your social disposition. Your high score indicates your tendency to forego your own desires for the sake of others - sometimes to a fault. You are probably known as a kind and modest person who is willing to overlook your own needs for the interest of the group. You believe in creating harmony among people, to the point where you can sometimes act a bit dependent. With your straightforward style of communication and your sentimental nature, this isn't hard for you. You tend to see the world by the light you cast - as honest and genuine.




less reactive	more reactive

Negative Emotionality

Negative Emotionality refers to your emotional reactivity. Your medium score means that you're someone who negotiates your emotions depending on your situation. Sometimes you may feel quite sensitive and emotional, while other times you may remain resilient to outside pressures. This quality of adaptation best describes your emotional character. You maintain a rational outlook, which is moderated by feelings. For example, you can sometimes feel sad, stressed, worried or embarrassed under the weight of a situation, but you are able to act quite calm and reserved, without yielding to the stress. Responsive, without being overly reactive, is the best way to describe you.

Now Listening to: Wind Cries Mary
By: Jamie Cullum

2004-10-28T21:10:00.000+08:00

Totally emptied. My tank is now empty. No more energy left. The activities for the past three days have been energy sapping to say the least. I had PT on tuesday. It was raining a little so we did our PT in the clock tower. Sir changed the normal jogging routine into 6 minutes of jumping jets, meaning we did about 180. "One two three, ONE". This exercise it self tired out my calves, quads and hamstrings all at the same time. Stayed back to talk about old arcade games and reliving fond memories. Rock.

Wednesday. Ortus Carnival. Helped out in 3L's haunted house. In there it was hot, stuffy, everyone was sweating like mad. Gaobin was messing things up. But still I had so much fun that I didn't have much energy left after that to do other stuff. I wore a damn scary mask, stood in front of them with my arms outstretched. So, those students thinking that I would scare them, would focus totally on me. Then wenjib would move in for the kill by scaring them right when they are totally focused on me. Pwned.

Today. We went trekking from Bukit timah hill to Mandai Zoo in a rain on the forest trail. Totally Pwned. We were wet, muddy, sore, tired, hungry and happy all at the same time when the zoo kfc was in sight. To add to injury, we had weights training in the afternoon. So at that time, the three leg muscles were wrecked, my shoulders, chest and triceps were also getting worked. Had a really stupid time after the actual training though, through some air-con, a digicam and some weights room equiptment.

I am beginning to cherish the time I spend with my teammates more and more. I can feel that during the exams it brought us apart and now we are getting back together as a team we should be. Laughing, sweating and laming together. Luckily(and unfortunately) we are stuck together in Judo for the next three years, so there's still time for us to get together alot.

Not funny.

Now Listening to: Last Chance
By: Jet

2004-10-25T22:51:00.000+08:00

Picked up a Chinese book on Saturday, quite interesting. Its about living your shitty life with laughter，and is aptly named 《哈哈笑，过苦日子》。 Thick and Cheap. $9.90.

A rather fresh breath of air for me since I don't usually pick up chinese books by myself and start reading them. Besides that, this type of motivational books aren't what I normally read. It offers many short stories and jokes to bring out some quirks and wrong things we are doing in our lives. Like how we always say "but I thought" even when it means "I was too lazy to check", or how we tend to focus on minor itty gritty details instead of looking at the real issue. There are about 5 chapters, each with 15-20 short stories.

Maybe it's just what I need to idle off my holidays as well as help myself take things easily.

Maybe it can help me live a better live, a more fufilling life.

Just maybe.

Now listening to: Shiver
By: Maroon 5

2004-10-22T13:13:00.000+08:00

The weather change I've been experiencing nowadays seem to be so sudden; It can be all sunny and cheerful at one moment and then before you know it the dark clouds begin to gather and in no time it starts to rain. With thunder.

Just a matter of a few hours but it is enough for the whole situation to change, for good or for worse, I don't know. It wasn't like this a few months ago, and sometimes I wonder how it has worsened over such a short time. But I guess things are the way they are, the more you try to interfere, the worse it becomes.

All I'm gonna do now is watch the rain fall and the thunders roll until they decide to stop. Until they let sunshine fill the room.

Just like before.

Now Listening to: Thunder

2004-10-19T13:33:00.000+08:00

Nothing's going right for me right now. I've just spent 20 minutes writing and composing my thoughts on blogger when it failed to post it and wiped out my entire post. My sister's playing the Sims 2 on my computer. Glad that she's finally getting a life. I was a little worried when she started to actually MuG in June. Its been 3.5 months since she last touched a computer or chatted on msn.

Anyway. its raining cats and dogs now. And I'm supposed to go for the first outdoor training since the exams later at four. Can this be considered an omen? Is this a sign of things to come?

Actually I wrote some stuff about my Judo. But there's no time to retype them now. So I'll just go away.

Now Listening to: Pouring Rain

2004-10-18T22:07:00.000+08:00

A story taken from SgChirstians friendster.

A young lady named Sally, relates an experience she had in a seminary class, given by her teacher, Dr. Smith. She says that Dr. Smithwas known for his elaborate object lessons.

One particular day, Sally walked into the seminary and knew they were in for a fun day.

On the wall was a big target and on a nearbytable were many darts. Dr. Smithtold the students to draw a picture of someone that they disliked or someone who had made them angry, and he would allow them to throw darts at the person's picture.

Sally's friend drew a picture of who had stolen her boyfriend. Another friend drew a picture of his little brother. Sally drew a picture of a former friend, putting a great deal of detail into her drawing, even drawing pimples on the face. Sally ! was plea sed with the overall effect she had achieved.

The class lined up and began throwing darts.Some of the students threw their darts with such force that their targets were ripping apart. Sally looked forward to her turn, and was filled with disappointment when Dr. Smith, because of time limits, asked the students to return to their seats. As Sally sat thinking about how angry she was because she didn't have a chance to throw any darts at her target. Dr. Smithbegan removing the target from the wall.

Underneath the target was a picture of Jesus. A hush fell over the room as each student viewed the mangled picture of Jesus; holes and jagged marks covered His face and His eyes were pierced.

Dr. Smith said only these words... "In as much as ye have done it unto the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto Me." Matthew 25:40. No other words were necessary; the tears filled eyes of the students focused only on the picture of Christ.

Now Listening to: Silence

2004-10-17T22:01:00.000+08:00

Who are my true friends? Who will help me at their expense when I'm down? Who will I help at my own expense when they are depressed?

There was a man. He was a paralytic, meaning that he couldn't move. Not even a little bit. In his society, people who grew up to be different, who had weird diseases were considered sinners. These group of people were right smack at the bottom of the social heirachy.

For this guy, all he could do was think about his next meal. 'Whats the point of thinking about anything else?' he thought. Now unlike the other 'outcasts', he had 4 true friends. They took care of him day in day out, helping him wash up, stuff like that. The parlytic always felt that he was being a burden to the guys, and was grateful for their friendship.

One day, the five of them heard that Jesus was in town, teaching the word in someone's house. So the four guys said, "lets bring him(the paralytic) to Jesus, he might be able to heal our friend"
Upon reaching the house, they found out that it was full people. There was no way in. But they persisted. These very four men dug a hole through the roof and lowered the paralytic down, with countless pairs of eyes all looking at them. Jesus look at the paralytic, then at the determination and faith of his friends, and said:"Son, your sins are forgiven. Get up, take your mat and go home". And that was what the paralytic did. He stood up, thanked the lord, and walked home.

True friends are those that think not of themselves but of the group.
They stay with their friends through thick and thin.
They are not afraid of defying the social norm.
True friends are those who look beyond the package, and look at the substance.

A rather long post, I know. But just wondering, who are my true friends, who aren't?

Now Listening to: Liu2 Shui3 Nian2 Hua2 (current bg music)
By: Harlem Yu

2004-10-16T23:02:00.000+08:00

Open house at TCHS today was really good. Good in the sense that:
a) I spent two hours catching up with my judo friends
b) All I did was fight one bout of shi-ai with my junior
c) The visitors were impressed(i think...)

So actually open house for me is just sitting there, watching. Not much difference from the visitors if you come to think of it. Vernon and Yong Keong did their jobs very well, considering that they received their jobs only 30 minutes before the actual performance. GJ guys.

Anyway, during the youth service worship, shumin was the worship leader. Obviously something was not right because she kept on forgetting what to sing(chorus, verse 1, 2) and caused alot of confusion during the worship, in the end it was really awkward. It's a vicous cycle really, the more nervous you are, the more mistakes you get. And that causes you to get even more nervous. Haiz. Despite that, we could all see that she tried her best in serving the lord and didn't really criticize or what lar.

Percussion freak rocks. It allows me to play with a "drum" really horribly and not look too stupid. Just a little lol.

Getting updated with Taiwan news and politics recently. Full of colourful and vibrant politicians. And their news sound like some soap opera. Prez got shot on eve of election day. Won by margin. US forcing them to buy weaps. Politicians scolding other countries with words like "mucus" and LP, and more. Truly amazing. I wish Singapore were like that...

Maybe not.

Now Listening to: Nothing

2004-10-15T23:50:00.000+08:00

Yay... finally getting a new graphics card for my birthday. Getting one that is around the 600++ buck range. Wait... don't fall of your chair yet, the reason why its so expensive is cos my dad, mom and grandma are pooling their money to get it. Amazing huh.

Here are three contenders:

ELSA Ati Radeon 9800XT ($655)
POWER COLOR ATI Radeon 9800XT ($699)
Geforce 5900 Ultra ($650)

I'd really want the 9800XT cos its much smaller than the Geforce and doesn't require 2 empty CPU slots. And btw all these cards require their own power plug. Yeah. The graphic card's very own power plug. Hopefully can get it during november, since now's the research phase of the purchase process. Hoping to find more and better cards tomorrow. Maybe check out Geforce 5950 Ultra, heard its a little bit more expensive than 9800XT. One way or another, I'll still be going into nirvana in November. Doom3, Far Cry, Halo 2, Half-life 2, here I come!!!!!!!one!!1!11

Now Listening to: System of a down
By: Roulette

2004-10-13T21:46:00.000+08:00

Found this blog by accident.

"""It was my misfortune of browsing through some blogs. The American blogs were fine. The Indian blogs were fine. The Kuwaiti blogs were fine. The Malaysian blogs were fine too.What made my blood boil was the SINGAPOREAN blogs. OH MY GOD. Here's a cruel sampling:

ahax...happi a bit 2dae cause MT exam over le :p...e paper okie lahx...sum difficult...HE stressin me lehx...fin so fast...both e compo n paper...hahax...jus now after sch saw those BITCHES @ e bus-stop...cant stand them...sum okie lahx sum really irritatin lorx...TW ish 1 of them...c boyz onli scream lyke end of e world lyke tat...a bus came but den alot of ppl so we skip unfortunately, THEY aso skip e bus...!@#$%^&*....haiz...den they lyke tokin bout us lorx...its damn obvious...also those malay ppl frm NT came n keep beatin e metal thin...we leanin on it lorx...pa jiao lahx...wan 2 scream @ them n throw them into e rubbish bin since they so close 2 it...heheh...den HE n his buddies came...den got 293 so BITCHES went over n HE too...sigh...den ganma n bla bla bla came...mummy ish supposed 2 cum with them 1...but got tuition...haiz...poor thin...aniwaes back 2 e topic...after they left i was damn irritated liao...den blablabla came which make me wan 2 kill ppl liao...hahax...

What the hell was THAT?!?!? I read through it half-way and fell into a coma. Is this what our country is producing? If a world-class education system yields this, i'm moving to Cambodia. How long does it take to spell "to"? Do you have to use 2?!??! OH my god..And another thing: the blogs are so...empty. Here's what they have in common:

1) Singapore Idol
2) How hard the science paper was
3) What somebody did to somebody

That's all they talk about. Other blogs are different. I've seen blogs from other countries with subject matter ranging from the election, to the Mount St Helens eruption. But the Singaporean bloggers probably don't even know their Yusof Islams from their Osama bin Ladens.

*breeeeethe.......breeeeeeeeathe......* """

-------------------------------------------------

I couldnt agree more with him. There is something seriously wrong with the way singaporeans write and express themselves in writing. Is singapore the only country that uses MsN alot to the extent that the quality of writing decreases? No. Other countries don't have such problems, why singapore?

y is dis wae of riting onli cuming frm sgreans??? y we so diff??? i omos abit ashamed of dis wae of riting.

Sure, there is always freedom of expression. But what you want to say must be legible in order for people to actually understand it! To end it off, here is a really good blog that has good content and good writing.

2004-10-13T21:19:00.000+08:00

Today marks the start of after-exam activities, but somehow I don't feel the excitement and euphoria the I normally feel after the exams. Just a monotonous sense of "sianness" and nothing-to-do attitude. This year, just playing the computer all day long will not do. I need something new, something fresh and exciting. I'm thinking of going to east coast to cycle with velden and the others, or doing something that doesn't involve computers. Somebody give me some suggestions.

Anyway. Today's oral defence was a mixed bag of feelings. I did well for the Q and A, but I stuttered abit in the presentation. The guy judge looked like vincent tan, could be his long lost brother.

When he asked me why my paper didn't have a conclusion, and I told them it wouldnt be fair now since the dispute didn't finish yet, He nodded his head and smiled. Felt like he was saying, "Correct answer, I wanted you to say that."

Uncle Jimmy just gave us our newest assignment. We'll be acting out a play. Practice on Saturday. Every time its a different thing. Woohoo.

Now Listening to: I-E-A-I-A-I-O
By: System of a down

2004-10-12T00:04:00.000+08:00

Today I have turned older by one year. I am less young by one year. I am nearer to A levels by one year. I am further from PSLE by one year. I have been breathing for one more year than last year. I have known God for one more year.

Amazing isn't it.

Celebrated my birthday today with my family at Crystal Jade restraunt in Toa Payoh, which was really nice. At first when my mom asked me where i wanted to eat I meant Crystal Jade as a joke. haha. She took it seriously. The "la mian" bowl was as big as a soccer ball, which is just right for stuffing your face into the bowl. I only managed to eat a bowl of la mian, 3 wanton, and 1 sesame ball thingy, which shows how much noodles they gave us.

I just realised recently that my father is super pro at electric guitar. Knows all the famous rock songs' chords by heart. Deep purple, Rainbow(??), ACDC, Metellica, you name it. Im thinking if he didn't become a pastor he'd probably join a band and be a rock star. And now my sister also wants to learn electric guitar ever since she went jamming with her class mates.

Cool huh.

Yay, im now 15 years old.

Now Listening to: ATWA
By: System of a Down

2004-10-10T14:26:00.000+08:00

A singaporean guy in Brisbane.

"this afternoon, i was walking to school from the city. i saw this group of angmos, quite beng. you know like walking and shouting,.. disturbing people.. etc. when they cross the road, they think its their road. fucking red man still walk. heng the people here in aus generally quite nice. they wont horn and horn like singaporeans. they will stop the car and let you walk..

when they aproach the next light, they balonglong cross it again.. this time, a small car horn them. the biggest guy among the group, turned ard as the car drove slowly past behind them, kicked the door real hard and denting it...
the small car immediately park by the side and the driver got out..
the big guy walk towards him like big shot like that.. walking as if he is going to beat the shit out of the driver..

the driver, a small guy, came out of his car, walked to the guy. and as he is near him, he took out his wallet and flashed his Police badge in the big guy's face...
.....
WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA :D:D:D:D"

Now Listening to: 海啸
By: Harlem Yu

2004-10-08T22:35:00.000+08:00

"" I was tucking Nicky in tonight, and asked him about his school. I said "What are you guys doing at recess these days? Are the girls still chasing you"?He responded: "Well, Kerry.....not John Kerry, but Kerry in my class, she's chasing Christopher".

I couldn't help but laugh at that one. Little Nicky didn't want me to be confused and think that John Kerry was chasing his friends around at recess. ""

- Some housewife blog from America

Now Listening to: Album
By: Renee Olstead

2004-10-07T22:25:00.000+08:00

Physics paper is now a huge "?" for me. The hard parts were damn hard, they easy parts were rather easy.

Had a very good time with velden and kenneth at my house today. Did so many things all in an afternoon. We(well, they) played Virtua Tennis for about 2.5 hours(!) while I slogged to a 4-1 Manchester United win over city rivals City on the ps2.

Anyway, badminton sucked because the wind was damn big, and velden kept hitting the shuttlecock to himself. Brought down the soccerball and we played a little bit passing and crossing. Velden not bad leh... good crossing prospect. Just abit kancheong and kicks the ball to hard, nearly hitting the "bai4 bai4" thing that ppl use to offer stuff to their ancestors. Kenneth... needs abit more work, although we did teach him how to stop a ball with his sidefoot and dribble with his instep.

Saw ryan and his girlfriend playing tennis. Just sat there and watched them play around, talking crap all the way. I wont talk about the crap we talked, it would not be appropriate... =)

Have been listening to System of a Down, head-banging metal music, cos I needed to keep awake on the mugging nights. Now listening to some soothing jazz and ballads. I tell you, David foster is a genius when it comes to discovering talent. Look at Renee Olstead and Michael buble. All so young and so talented. I'm really expecting to listen to their songs for years to come.

And when I grow old I'll go, "This Michael buble and Renee Olstead, daddy used to listen to them when I was still in secondary school..."

My child would give me a KL look and listen abit, but not too much. I would still tell him about it, because I loved it when I was young.

Yeah, kinda like how my dad promotes "the whos" and "ritchie blackmore" and "ACDC" to me. I know they are good. But I really don't love it.

Now Listening to: What a difference a day makes
By: Renee Olstead

2004-10-07T21:44:00.000+08:00

From now onwards I promise myself not to 记仇 for more than 2 days.

After that I will forget about it and live on....

Please remind me if i forget.

2004-10-04T20:27:00.000+08:00

Feeling much happier as a person, as a student, as an examinee today.

Well, not really keen on finishing the examination, since training will resume once the exam finishes, and I will have to regain my own strength as well as help the sec1's regain theirs.

This isn't going to be easy but for me there is always someone too look upon during hard times. =)

2004-10-03T09:12:00.000+08:00

Sigh. I really dont know what to say. Im really getting sick of this war of words.

Anyway, If i tried to insult other religions I had done so as a joke, and I apologise if it offended anyone, since nobody said anything, I thought it was fine with you guys.

I'm really tired of being pissed, angry and filled with unhappiness, because of this.

Maybe you will start to "niao" me again when I write this, but I still have to do it:

"God is saying that it is in our own best interest to forgive! He is not talking about what is in the best interest of the person who needs to be forgiven. We are the ones who God is trying to protect. We are the ones who receive the most benefit from forgiveness, not the other person.

A spirit of unforgiveness complicates and compromises our daily walk with God. Forgiving others releases us from anger and allows us to receive the healing we need. The whole reason God has given us specific direction is because He does not want anything to stand between us and Him. God's love for us is beyond our comprehension. Forgiving others spares us from the consequences of living out of an unforgiving heart. "

So, I am trying my best to forgive those who offended me, not that anyone is begging me.

I forgive because I dont want to compromise my relationship with my god. I hope you understand that and not misinterpret it as me wanting act high and mighty or what.

You're probably thinking that you've won the "war".

Maybe you're right, but what does that really mean?

Your right in some ways, maybe I really shouldn't care so much about others.

God Bless.

2004-10-02T21:13:00.000+08:00

This will be my last blog before the exams as the next week is the exam week, focusing on the exams will be important.

http://www.dna-double-helix.net/Does-God-Exist.htm

Very comprehensive and detailed comparisons of many philosophical issues that are around us.
Does an intelligent creator exist?
What about dinosaurs?
Did the great flood really happen?
Is hell real?
What is the age of earth?
Nostradamus prophecy?

http://www.dna-double-helix.net/Who-Is-Jesus.htm

Who is Jesus Christ?
When will he come again?
Jesus through the eyes of history
Origin of Christmas

So many things to think about, so little time.

Quotation

2004-10-01T21:55:00.000+08:00

I have a right to my anger, and I don't want anybody telling me I shouldn't be, that it's not nice to be, and that something's wrong with me because I get angry.

- Maxine Waters, in Brian Lanker, I Dream a World, 1989

2004-09-27T22:31:00.000+08:00

After reading a newspaper article that talked about the school ranking system, I could not help but sense a tinge of betrayal from the MOE. Well, they had said that the school rankings would not be released this year and suddenly it is released with a two page article. But that's besides the point.

In the new ranking system, in which CHS did not even feature in the entire list of Top schools, which they said focused on both the acedemics and the physical activities.

Ms Susan Leong, principal of Cedar Girls', said "If a school does well academically but not in the other areas, then that shows clearly as well in the tables."

I cannot help but feel aggreived when such statements are made, in view of some facts:

1) CHS was the only top school that did not enter the list.

2)It was implying that CHS did not do well in "other" areas, which we will assume that it refers to CCAs

3)It has become a trend that this paper has been "shooting" us, with reference to the ip program article not long ago.

It seems to be a trend that people will often without thinking label CHS as a nerd school, it is a preconceived notion that we just know how to "mug" and nothing else. However, it is a totally flawed viewpoint.

Track and Field----2GOLD

Judo---------------2 GOLD

GYM-------------- 2 GOLD

Air rifle------------2GOLD

Canoing------------1GOLD

Squash-------------1GOLD

Well, to support what y2k said, we already have 10 golds with just 6 of our 18++ CCAs. If that still does not equate to "doing well" in other areas that I really cannot see what else we can do. The only way to handle this situation is to take it in our stride and beat them at their own game. I trust that we will still pick up what we have lost and break the common sterotypical image of CHS.